Dive In

Chapter 33

•Nolani•

Two sets of mischievous amber eyes blink up at me, wide and innocent. I melt into a pile of mush at their owners feet until their lips tilt up into mirrored smirks.

"Don't you do it." I say, pointing my finger at them in warning.

Rafe giggles loudly and both he and Rome charge at me, their mud covered hands outstretched. I squeal and run the opposite direction, their laughter following me.

"Mamma, we just want a bacio!" Rome demands.

(bacio: kiss)

"Not until you wash up, it's time for dinner!" I laugh.

I stumble over a ball on the grass and fall to the ground where both boys immediately pounce on me and their mud covered fingers paint my skin with dirty smudges. I wrap an arm around each one and smush them against me. They wriggle against my hold, my fingers tickling their ribs, their laughter growing louder until they turn into twinkling squeals.

"Papà!" Rafe exclaims and slips out of my grasp, sprinting across the yard at full speed.

I release Rome so he can follow his brother and they both leap into Giovanni's waiting arms before I can warn him of their dirty hands.

I wipe the mud from my cheek as I stand up. "Looks like they got you too." I say motioning toward the smudges on his suit.

"What did you do to your Mamma?" He asks the twins in serious tone, but even from here I can see the laughter dancing in his eyes.

They glance down at their feet and then look up at him under their eyelashes. "Sorry." They apologize in unison.

He presses a kiss against each of their heads and they run back to the mud puddle they had been playing in when I came to tell them dinner was ready.

Giovanni approaches me slowly. "How were they today?"

"Wild as ever." I reply simply, my eyes flicking over to the twins.

They're always so happy, their smiles light up the room and their amber eyes surrounded in dark lashes melt your heart. Rome has a dimple in his right cheek and Rafe has Giovanni's smile. They're playful little boys and they never stop moving. They keep me on my toes and my nerves frayed but I wouldn't trade them for anything. They're my whole world, I don't know how I ever survived without them. They make the earth a brighter place they make me so happy, I've never felt so much joy in my heart. I feel whole, complete. I've never felt like this. I love them so much it hurts... God, it really, really hurts.

I clutch my stomach, my eyes falling to my bloody thighs and the twins laughter quickly fades away.

"No!" I scream. "Come back, please come back!"

Then it all fades away, their laughter abruptly replaced by the loud beeping of a machine.

I wince at the bright light above me as I force my eyes open. A groan falls from my lips and I shift against whatever I'm laying on. I blink slowly a few times before my eyes adjust, the hospital room coming into view and I'm jerked into reality, a soul crushing pain nearly suffocating me.

I gasp, my heart shifting into overdrive and the monitor beside the bed beeps rapidly.

My babies, where are they?

My entire body goes numb all at once, my hand reaching down to my stomach. I dig my fingers into the squishy flesh there, covered by the hospital gown I'm wearing, mentally begging this to all be a nightmare and praying for a kick back but there's nothing there. My uterus is empty, achingly void of life. My babies are gone, my body failed. Grief slithers up my spine, wraps around my neck and squeezes like a boa constrictor killing it's pretty. I gasp for breath, my hands covering my face and I just want to disappear.