22. The Closeness

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Chapter track-
Norman fucking Rockwell- Lana Del Rey
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Bianca

So, being in a healthy romantic relationship is proving to be quite harder than I thought.

I am very happy with Neil. However, as much as I try to ignore, the closeness between him and Aahana isn't invisible.

I know how much he appreciates my presence in his life and I've never had intentions of being a crazy possessive girlfriend who can't let her boy have some personal space. I am better than that.

I would've successfully convinced myself to reject this horrible feeling but Aahana's other two mean girls are not letting that happen.

"Don't they look perfect? " I recognized that freakishly sweet voice of one of the plastic girls' talking behind my back the other day.

"I know, right?" The other one added. "Aahana tells me how much he cherishes her and they even have that long late-night talks, you know?"

"Aww, they're so cute. Neil just can't stay away from her, can he?"

How am I supposed to act normal after hearing that?

God knew how difficult and awkward it was to break my relationship news to my family. I almost had a panic attack when I saw their dumbfounded expression but I was glad to have spilled the beans, once and for all. At least I don't have to lie on their faces, every time I go out with him. And they even said that they were glad I told them, including my mom. I didn't tell anything to my dad though, it sounded super cringe-worthy on my mind itself and it is far better for my mom to do the job.

So, yeah, I have no secrets anymore and they seem to have accepted Neil as my official boyfriend. Things are going better than I expected.

But when I looked at them sitting together, joking and giggling like that, with the added amplified story by the plastic girls, I felt a small heat of jealousy flicker inside my heart. And it is a fact-I am nothing compared to her, the way she carries herself-so bold, so beautiful-and I can't help but feel insecure about myself.

I still tried my best to get over it because I could've just been overthinking. They could be friends, right?

However, all I wanted to do that night was to talk to him and clarify everything, but he didn't reply to any of my texts, even though I knew he wasn't asleep because he'd told me so many times that he has troubles falling asleep, and he can't tolerate the brightness when he tries to do so.

I could've given him a call, but because of the conversation I heard earlier that day, I feared that I might feel worse with a busy tone. I tried to convince myself with other excuses, but with every non replied texts and the empty balcony--the roots of doubt sank deeper into my brain.

He didn't reply in the morning as well.

It would be a lie if I say that it didn't hurt. But how stupid of him to ask me if I was alright. Was it rocket science to figure out that as his girlfriend, I expect some loyalty? Is it too much to ask?

I didn't know if my mind was only cooking up nonsense but I was already overwhelmed by the talks of those plastics saying "how well suited they were" or "how happy they looked"-the following day as well. It was just too much to take in. So, when he said he wanted to talk, I politely declined the offer, with the same excuse he gave me.

After a whole lot of thinking, I come out to a point that maybe I'm being too harsh and it would be better if we just clear up whatever that is happening.

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