27. A second chance?

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Chapter track

Willow- Taylor Swift

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Bianca

"Hey," Neil speaks from the other side of the call after what felt like a full minute of silence.

"How have you been?" I ask, trying my hardest to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"Better," He answers. "What about you?"

I've been miserable since the day you left--I want to say but my pride gets the best of me. "I'm.. I'm good." Would've been a lot better if I hadn't hesitated.

"I miss you." I bite my lip and close my eyes, trying to control the restless emotions that are causing havoc in my heart.

I dreaded so long to hear those words from him but when the fantasy is finally turning into reality-all it's bringing in is pain instead of pleasure. And the pain gives birth to anger. "I miss you so much." But the feeling of infuriation starts to fade with the words he's repeating, the words that I've been craving, that has turned me into a fool and a hopeless mess.

I swallow the knot that is formed in my throat. I'm sick of crying so often and I don't want to show how weak he makes me. So, I tilt my face towards heaven, blinking my tears away and clearing my throat.

"I thought we aren't keeping in touch anymore. " I say. "What made you call me now?"

"I wasn't sure if I would ever recover and I never wanted for you to see whatever you had to see that day."

"And what now? Have you recovered?" I ask, my mind already racing up with expectations.

"Not completely, but I've been clean since that incident and the effects of the withdrawals are decreasing as well." He answers. "I'm trying hard. "

"Okay."

"I've been dying to see you."

I remain quiet.

"Please, say something Bia. "

"What do you want me to say?" I mumble.

"Say that you aren't seeing someone else." He blurts. "You miss me Bia, don't you?"

I scoff. "Well, does that even matter? You said that we were over and.. and I had to move on."

"Is it Penzo?" He asks quietly.

"None of your business!" Yup, I intended the statement to be that rude.

He doesn't speak anymore, so I break the silence.

"Okay, Neil. I'm not seeing anyone and I've been missing you like crazy. But, that doesn't mean I'm taking you back again." My tone is harsh. "I don't wanna be with a boy who comes and goes whenever he wishes to. It isn't healthy."

"So, yeah. I'm glad you're recovering well and I'll always remember you in my prayers but that's it. So, take-

"Bianca," He interjects. "I need help."

"What help?"

"Choosing drugs at the beginning was my mistake, I accept. But once I got addicted, it showcased itself as a disease. And it's not only hurting me but everyone around me. I.. I've tried to keep you safe from me-so many times-but I always fail." He sighs. "Yet you accepted me for who I am and I failed you too. It kills me Bianca, it gives me more reasons to hate myself."

He clears his throat before continuing—"There's this one thing I didn't tell you before, I.. when I was in the rehabilitation centre, I didn't complete the six months session. I ran away after 1 month itself. And now that I think of it, I wasn't really planning on getting rid of addiction. I was there only because of my father and every minute out there was like pure torture."

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