Trust Fall(Complete ✅)

32. Holiday

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Never enough- Loren Allred

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Bianca

"I'll kill you if you forget about me even for a minute." I threaten, glaring up at him.

"I wouldn't be able to do that even if I tried to do so."

"I wish you could stay for Christmas." I bury my face in his chest, trying to breathe in as much of his body fragrance as I can. But I'm sure that no amount is enough.

"I wish that too." 

Although he is right here, wrapping me in his warm embrace, I am already beginning to miss him. Two months without him feels too hard to tolerate.

"I love you too much," I whisper.

"I love you more."

Holidays make me happy, a visit to Gangtok makes me happier but Christmas make me the happiest. I have all the reasons to be happy this year yet not having Neil by my side is equally upsetting. I'm elated about seeing my parents who are coming home for the holidays but at the same time, a departure from Neil is heartbreaking—He has to go home as well.

"Won't you give me a Christmas present?"

"What do you want, babe?" He asks, kissing the top of my head.

"This," I say, grabbing the maroon hoodie he is wearing by my fists. "I'll hug it when I miss you?"

"Sure,"  He tries to take it off when I stop him abruptly.

"Not right now, stupid." I laugh.

It is a cold winter evening and because we are by my balcony, the breeze is trying its best to freeze us to death. Yet, the act of getting entangled with him is worth even dying for.

"You too have to give this to me if you want my hoodie." He pats my upper back, referring to my sweatshirt. I nod in response while looking up at him. "Weren't you wearing this when I saw you for the first time on this balcony?"

"You still remember?" 

"I remember everything of you." He kisses my smile but I pull him closer as I throw my arms around his neck and he easily picks me up, helping me to secure my legs around his waist.

I've done it so many times but my poor brain still doesn't know how to tone down the butterflies in my belly, instead, with every other step I take with Neil, the level of adrenaline only went up higher and higher. So much so that my heart is almost on a verge of exploding, and the truth is, I never want it to stop, the feeling is too beautiful and exciting to desire its feeble effects on me.

............  

The next day, although we went up late to our beds, we wake up even earlier than usual, as decided, just so that we can spend a bit more time together before he leaves.

We don't even talk much since the silence that we are sharing this moment is even more intimate. I'm trying my best not to cry, but the tears that are rolling down my cheeks are unstoppable, the heartache is just too overwhelming. I know I'm overreacting because, seriously- he is just going home for vacation, not to fight a damn war or so and I am secretly praying that Neil wouldn't laugh at my face or tell me not to cry, I mean, that would've been so freaking embarrassing, but my boy just knows how to impress me even more—he doesn't speak a word. All he does is tighten his grip around me, silently telling me how he is equally distressed by our temporary detachment.

I'm glad and equally nervous to be reintroduced to his parents as his girlfriend, but I am sad—he is leaving. They look more than happy to see me, but I am sad because he is leaving. He promises to call and text me almost every second, but I am sad because he is leaving.