Trust Fall(Complete ✅)

15. Resistance

*Again a reminder* Peggy is now Aahana and you can find her story in 'Someday, beyond the dark clouds'... I'd be so glad if you'd check it out.
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Chapter track
Wicked game - Chris Issak
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Neil

A Relationship is one of the things that I suck in.

And I can't believe I kissed Bianca. What was I even thinking? I mean, I do like her but I'm so not ready to be a boyfriend or something like that.

Now, I don't have a single idea of what to do next. Am I supposed to confess that it was a silly mistake done due to some crazy intoxication or just forget about it like that incident never even happened?

I know it's cruel both ways because as much as I remember, when I kissed her-although she didn't kiss me back-she didn't push me away either, she just...stayed and I couldn't find a hint of anger in those surprised eyes. She didn't even leave me after that, she was still there, only listening to me all night long.

I could almost sense the deeper feelings she holds for me and God knows that scares me the most. It wasn't supposed to be like that because I have way too many demons inside me and that keeps me from letting her into my life.

The guilt of so many destroyed lives is already eating me up and if she gets stuck in my shitty life, she won't be spared either. My presence is only going to hurt her and I don't think I'd be able to deal with that, she is too good for that and deserves someone much better than me.

I'm ashamed of myself but I still don't have the slightest bit of courage to confront the consequences and be honest for once, so all I've been doing since the event is avoiding her like I was doing just before the unfortunate event. I've stopped taking the school bus, I don't tag along with Sia outside the classroom because Bianca is like always with her, I don't sit with her during vernacular classes either and I'm the first one to leave during the rehearsals. I've been trying to cut her out of my life which is harder for me because the further I'm running away, the stronger my desires are getting to have her close to me. I'm missing her so much but I've been holding myself together because I can't think of any other choice.

"Beauty and the Beast," Aahana states.

The only reason I got started with this concert stuff was Bianca, which doesn't make sense anymore but to make things worse-or best if I really want to avoid Bianca-I have to perform solo.

"You're kidding, right?" I say.

"I'm not." She shrugs.

"They want us to sing that cheesy fairy tale song?"

"Uh-huh."

"But, we already had our solos, right? Why this now?"

"Yes, we'll still have to do the solos, but the primary kids are doing a sort of drama on that theme so they want us to sing at the end of it."

"I don't want to do it."

"Neither do I, but give it a thought. It's for a good cause."

I scoff and run my fingers through my hair. "Alright."

"Okay. Just let me know what you decide. I'll see you, bye." Aahana declares and walks away.

"Yeah, bye."

My participation is already disturbing me enough and the added burden is seriously getting on my nerves and is making me reconsider my decision.

The recess is about to be over and I'm heading back to my classroom after meeting Aahana, but unfortunately- I see Bianca and Sia leaning against the railings in front of the room.