12. The Temptation

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*WARNING*

This episode contains scenes of almost distinctly described durg abuse procedure. So, if you get disturbed by such details then please skip the first part of the chapter ***
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Chapter track-
Mirrors- Justin Timberlake ( Boyce Avenue ft Fifth harmony_ Cover)
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Neil

The outcome of the risk has ended up being worse than I thought.

Before the audition started, I was having cold feet because the flashes of the past were harassing me as a raid of some horrific phantasm.

As much as I wanted to leave, I couldn't. I had to do it at least for Bianca. I couldn't leave her stranded, she deserved better for the hard work she was doing.

Thankfully, I was able to carry myself without causing any trouble, but nobody knew what was happening inside me.

A recovering addict just needs an excuse to relapse, it's a fact. Now, the performance turned out to be an alibi for me to get back to the demons.

****

That evening, I increased the amount of the painkillers. I was stupefied, but that wasn't enough for me and when you're a drug addict, it isn't as simple as craving for a cup of coffee. Something else takes control over your entire being and it makes you think that you can't go sane or survive a single day without it. You'd be starving for it.

Next day, I left the house very early in the morning.

After collecting all the stuff I want from my connections, I walk in search of a place private enough to put my thoughts into practice and I find an old deserted shed within the forest near the school.

I'm beginning to get restless, so I drop my bag on the rickety wooden bench and light out a fag, taking hasty respire of the smoke before crushing the remains under my shoes.

I prepare a surface and roll a small pipe with the foil I got from a chocolate bar. I put some scag on the surface and hold the pipe on my mouth. I do the procedure repeatedly until all the dust turns into a sticky tar.

I hold on to the place lying down on the bench until I'm able to regain a little bit of composure.

****

After some time, I head to a small tea stall which is close to the school gate and buy myself a cup of tea and some locally baked biscuits.  My phone vibrates inside my blazer pocket and I see that it's a call from Uncle Vishant so I swipe the green icon.

"Hello, Neil?" Even though he isn't loud, I can still sense the panic in his shaky voice.

"Uh..Yes, Uncle."

"Where are you? We didn't even see you leave."

"I had to meet a friend, and I didn't want to disturb you. So.." I get hesitant.

"Okay," He doesn't sound very convinced but he doesn't push further. "You should have atleast informed us, you know? Anyway, did you even eat anything?"

"I am."

"Alright, see you in the evening then."

"Okay." I switch off my phone and put it back inside.

Avoiding company is the best way of hiding my situation, so I pretend to have a headache and dodge as many people as I can during the classes, breaks and rehearsals alike.

I take some more pills before returning home because nothing is enough, the more I take- the more I crave. I'm a slave- once more.

Thankfully, I don't forget that I have to return home with Bianca. I'm perhaps blabbering something which doesn't even make any sense to my head, but she quietly listens anyway. She doesn't look like she's trying to ignore me. She just listens to me- so earnestly, which is amusing and confusing at the same time. I've never received such reactions when I'm in such a state, not from strangers and my relatives are far off the list.

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