Trust Fall(Complete ✅)

40. The Catastrophe

Chapter track
Conan gray-Heather

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Sia

It's been a month but he isn't doing any better. How can I blame him? He's actually living the worst case scenario after all.

Rohan is all alone.

But I don't want to give him space anymore. I can't let his loneliness swallow him. No matter how hard it is, he needs to move on so I go to his house on a Sunday afternoon.

His house is no more crowded but it's the epitome of silence. As I ring the bell, the door is answered by Rohan's old maid.

"Is Rohan home?" I ask.

"Yes," She replies with a hearty smile. "He's in his bedroom. Come, I'll take you there."

"Thank you."

As I walk through the hall, I realise that the mansion is bigger than it seemed last time.

"I hope Rohan gets out of his grief." She tells me as I follow behind her. "Can't deny he has been living an unfair life."

We stopped in front of a huge wooden door.

"This is it," She states, intact with the smile. "You may get in it isn't locked."

"Thank you." I say.

"No dear. Thank you for coming." She taps by shoulder before she leaves.

I hesitantly turn the knob to open the door and as she said, it isn't locked.

Rohan is sitting on the edge of his bed. His head is hanging low and it looks like he's staring at nothing in particular. Like the rest of the house, his room is furnished with rich polished wood giving it a bit of a dark effect although the sun rays are directly passing through the windows.

Completely out of the current context but this room looks cleaner than mine.

What is wrong with me?

"You don't have to choose to be alone." I say, sitting beside him. "I'm here for you. You don't have to reciprocate my feelings. We can be friends, right?"

He's so broken, my heart hurts.

He raises his head to look up at me. The way he looks at me. Why does his eyes bores into mine like it had been craving for so long? Why? Why do I feel like he's telling me so many things when he doesn't even speak a word? How can I find so much affection in those sad, grieving eyes?

We stare at each other for so long that I lose count of seconds or even minutes that goes by. And he suddenly shifts and now his lips are against mine.

Is it really happening? Or am I dreaming? Somebody pinch me!

I have no idea if I'm freezing or melting. But I'm sure I'm about to have a panic attack.

Calm down, Sia! This is not happening for the first time.

But it's Rohan! Of course it's as good as "first time".

I can believe he's still kissing me, but it's so soft against mine that I'm sure that it's gonna end anytime soon. However, the opposite happens, he deepens the kiss and I close my eyes, parting my lips and following his rhythm. It is so intense and equally desperate.

And in the corner of my mind a voice silently shouts at me- "Why is he kissing you if he's more interested in your cousin?"

Responding to the voice, I decide to push him away but I stop when a salty taste intervenes our action. He's crying. And the rest of me can feel the sadness he feels right now and that overcomes every thing I've ever felt.

That persuades me to change my mind, so I wrap my arms around his neck instead and he wraps his around my waist.

I feel so different, like a sense of metamorphosis within me. I feel like I'm a new person now. I'm no longer my old self as I can feel the changes in each and every fibre of my existence. I'm loosing myself in him, I'm falling in love. I'm desperately falling in the worst way possible and I know there's no way I can crawl back, not for a long time, nor do I want to.

It's not just my lips he's touching but he has found his way into my soul, forcing me to imagine myself as his one and only. Goodness! This sounds so stupid but I do wanna love this broken mess even more, I wanna marry and have children with him someday. I wish to be with him forever.

I still can't believe this is real.

Although, I don't know if he can grow the slightest bit of feelings for me, at this point, I don't even care if he's only using me. He has lost too much, I just wish I could give him my first kiss instead. Damn you! Dorjee!

But at least this one consists of true feelings. And no matter how pathetic it sounds, I'm never regretting this. I love him. I really do.

....

I hate myself.

We were like best friends, just months ago and now when he needs me the most, I screwed up big. He had already told me about his feelings for Bianca, I should've just shut up after that. At least he wouldn't have lost a friend in the time of need.

I wish I could freeze time and stay on my bed forever and ever. I don't wanna get out of this house anymore and school is the last place I wanna be in.

How can you avoid the person you miss the most anyway? How more pathetic can I be?

That day, with Rohan, although it was sad but at the same time, it was one of the most beautiful moments I've lived. The way we kissed and how he cried in my arms for almost an hour, I built up a thought that we were now together. But the thought shattered the very next day when he behaved like nothing ever happened between us.

It's my fault though, I knew he was vulnerable and I was okay to be used, so it's wrong to heighten up my expectations.

Of course he's in love with Bianca. It's always been her. I mean, she was with him from the very beginning, and there is a reason why boys are literally fighting for her. I mean, come on, she's a good girl, pretty, smart, sweet, sensitive, careful, and everything that gives her a tag of the "perfect girlfriend material".

I should've held my tongue and moved on as soon as he said about his interests in her. But who knew it was gonna hurt this bad? And the kiss only made me worse. Because I can't get rid of this embarrassment. I don't want to loose him, but I can't act like I used to anymore, because it's nothing like that anymore.

Damn! I screwed up bad.

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A/N: So what do you think?

Hold up guys, the coming chapters are gonna be dark.

Please vote

Love ya..