"We'll be together again, I promise!" Erwin Smith smiled and patted a girl's head as he turned to leave. Those were Cordelia's brother's last words to her before he left for the military. After the suspected murder of their parents by the governmen...
Levi trudged wearily back to the barracks by himself in the dark night. His exhaustion seeped deep into his bones and his muscles begged him to rest but he paid no mind to his physical trauma. His mind was far too distracted to listen to the rest of his body beg him to rest. His thoughts raced in a million different directions only to end up at the same question:
Why? Why did it have to turn out this way? Why now? Why am I such an idiot? Why didn't she tell me...? Why?? Why?! WHY?!
In no way, shape, or form did he think he was suitable to be a father-- especially not now. In the distant future it could be a possibility, but now? The world is too cruel and unstable to think about bringing life into the world. Cordelia had to know that, right?
Levi's eyes grew soft as he stopped in the middle of the street and looked down at the cobblestone road beneath him.
Cordelia... Is that why you didn't tell me?
He sighed and placed a hand on his forehead as he felt a headache coming on. He slowly began to continue his walk through his pain as he entered through the barrack gates. What was once a base full of countless dedicated soldiers and hard training now merely stood as an empty hollow shell. The numerous buildings and rooms were of no use anymore. It was like a ghost town.
Levi did his best to ignore the emptiness of the barracks that loomed greatly over him while he made his way to the showers. For now, it was the least he could do to try and accept the new hand he was dealt. As if having the weight of the past battle events weighing on his mind wasn't enough, now he had to deal with worrying about Cordelia and her child.
Their child... A whole human life.
The thought drove goosebumps down Levi's spine as he turned the showerhead on and grabbed a towel. He tore his clothes off to revealed his battered and bruised body from the battle. He looked like a mess.
Me... A father... I definitely don't look the part right now, do I?
Steam filled the room as he stood motionless in the water that rained down on him.
Am I even suited to be a father? The closest thing I've ever had is Kenny...
Levi clenched a fist in his palm as he began to remember how Kenny abandoned him when he was only a child. The painful memories crept into his brain. He could remember it distinctly; Kenny turning his back on him when he was a mere 10 years old and never returning. He could feel the pain in his chest that he felt once before when Kenny never returned. The extreme confusion and loneliness that followed after Kenny abandoned him were etched in his heart like a scar.
Levi shut his eyes and slammed his fist against the wall from his cursed memories. He took a deep breath and sighed. In a defeated manner, he gently touched his forehead to the wall slightly above his fist.
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