Rachel Berry's Point of View:
Wednesday
It was 3 AM and I couldn't sleep, Quinn just wouldn't get out of my head, her words playing through my head over and over. I was hurting her. I was hurting Finn. I was hurting me. No one will ever be 100% happy in this situation that I've put myself into. But at least, we would be happier if my messy mind just made a decision. I decided to call Sam, hoping he was awake.
"Rachel?" his voice sounded husky, I could tell I woke him up.
"Sorry for waking you up" I tried speaking, but my voice came out as sobs.
"I'll be there in five, leave your window open" he said and hung up.
I opened my windows and sat down, I had a bay window, so there was no chance of me falling down. I looked up at the moon and admired it's beauty, I couldn't help but compare it to Quinn, so beautiful and magnetic. Sam climbed in and hugged me, I hugged him back and melted in his embrace, crying quietly.
"I haven't been honest with you" I said, and he gave me a reassuring smile.
"I know you're in love with Quinn" he said.
"Let me tell you the whole story"
He kept quiet and let me talk, attentively listening to everything that I had to say. When the story came to an end, he looked really shocked.
"Oh, my God" he said.
"Tomorrow is Valentine's Day"
"Oh, my God"
"Sam, say something else"
"What do you want me to say? Be brave? Break up with Finn and be with the person that you actually love? Because Kurt has told you the same thing, Quinn has begged you to do just that, yet you're still with Finn" Sam said, his serious tone catching me off guard.
"I know! I'm a mess" I sighed.
"No, you're not. You know who you love. You know who you want to choose. Are you really going to let fear get in the way?"
"You're right. But..."
"No but, you well know that Finn is going to be even more hurt by you if you keep lying to him"
"I hate myself" I said crying and Sam hugged me.
It was 4:30 AM and Sam had just left, we spent the whole hour and a half talking and trying to calm me down. I closed my eyes and dozed off to sleep, mentally preparing myself for breaking up with Finn.
***
"Hello!" Kurt said in a sing song tone, he seemed very happy.
"Someone seems overly happy today" I said with a smile.
"I met someone"
"Spill"
"At the Lima Bean Cafe, came in the most beautiful man I've ever seen, his name is Blaine, he goes to Dalton Academy, and he's gayyy" he replied.
"Wait, Dalton Academy? Isn't that the school we're competing against?" I asked.
"Just like Romeo and Juliet" Kurt replied, which made me laugh. He looked really happy and in love, it made my heart fill up with joy.
"We'll, I'm very happy for you" I replied.
I felt someone hug me from behind and kiss my cheek, it was Finn. I gave him a weak smile.
"You okay, baby?" He asked, concerned.
"Yeah, I just slept at 4:30 AM" I laughed.
"What? Why so late?" Kurt asked.
"My mind just wouldn't shut up" I answered.
"I've got the perfect answer to a bussy mind" Finn said with a smirk.
"And what is that?" I asked.
"Lots of kisses" he replied and began kissing me, I kissed back, but... I didn't feel anything. Not even the slightest rush that I felt at the beginning.
"Disgusting" Kurt remarked and I laughed.
"You're just jealous" Finn said while hugging me from behind, resting his head on my shoulder.
"Trust me, no, I am not jealous" Kurt replied, I knew what he meant... and, to be honest, it was kind of mean "See y'all at class"
I turned around and freed myself of Finn's embrace, grabbing my books and walking to class.
"Are you okay?" Finn asked, catching up to me.
"I'm just tired" I... didn't technically lie.
I was going to break up with him, I just don't think the school is the best scenario for that. When I entered the classroom, I noticed Quinn was sitting next to Santana, she said I couldn't have her for two weeks and it's literally hurting. Santana sent me a smirk when she noticed me staring for too long and I quickly removed my eyes from that place, looking around for an empty place. I found one... behind Quinn. I silently sat down.
"Hola clase" Mr. Schue greeted while walking inside, being followed by Finn.
And what are the odds? The only empty seat is the one next to me, behind Santana. Finn smiled at me and sat down next to me, saying hi to Quinn and Santana, they also said hi to him, as if nothing was happening. And the thing is, according to Finn, nothing is happening. I am a shitty person. Finn doesn't deserve all the shit that I'm putting him through.
"Hi Rach" said Finn.
"Hi" I replied, very dry. I could see he was taken back from my tone, but he didn't add anything, just paid attention to the class.
I was more than ready to zone out.
"Rachel" I hear someone say, I looked up and it was Mr. Schue.
"Yes?" I asked.
"How do you say "Go to the principal's office" in Spanish?" He asked, looking kind of angry.
"Umm"
"Please, wait for me outside the classroom" he said and I stood up, grabbing my stuff and made my way to the door.
"Wait, Rachel" Quinn said and I stopped walking... and breathing.
"Mr. Schue, Rachel is kind of zoned out because I made her sleep until really late because I was having really bad anxiety and she helped me, please don't send her to the principal's office" Quinn added.
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that Quinn. I'll make an exception for today, but sleep is very important for people with anxiety, so try sleeping more" Mr. Schue told Quinn "Rachel, return to your seat, thank you"
I returned to my seat and Mr. Schue kept explaining whatever topic he was talking about.
"Thanks, Quinn" I said, but she didn't reply, she just made eye contact with me and returned her eyes to the front of the class.
***
It was around 5 PM and I was sitting down on my porch, wanting the Earth to swallow me whole and spit me out in Mexico or something. I'd really rather be anywhere but here.
"Hey" Finn said, sitting down next to me. I was more than ready to end with this lie once and for all. I've hurt him too much.
A/n: i'm back !!! So sorry for not updating, and for the ones that are still reading, thank you so much for your patience.
vote if you liked the chapter :)
YOU ARE READING
𝖘𝖍𝖊 ✩ faberry
Fanfiction❝ Am I allowed To look at her like that? Could it be wrong When she's just nice to look at? ❞ ʚ❤︎ɞ "What was that?" Kurt asked. "What was what?" "Don't play stupid with me" "She just kissed my cheek...
