harmless//jjk

thirty-two

You checked on Elise later that evening to see her sleeping soundlessly, curled up in her sheet with her stuffed bunny. You stroked her hair and kissed her head. You'd been a horrible mother recently. She'd been so excited that you were staying home. Yet you couldn't even talk to her without feeling guilty, let alone play with her.

You walked back to your room to sleep the night out before waking up early the next morning. You headed out to the living room to look for the stuff Jungkook had left. He'd gone earlier. You'd heard him singing Elise to sleep and just minutes after, you'd heard the vacuum go off. He'd cleaned up.

Then the front door had shut without a word.

You opened up the letter from Yoongi, handwriting a messy tiny scrawl that you struggled to read. Attached was a revised script-- fitted with fewer scenes because filming with you had gotten so delayed.

You felt guilty for everything.

He'd explained in the letter that you needed to come back-- they needed you back. Of course they did; you were the lead. But not yet-- the second you'd leave the apartment cameras would be in your face. And it wasn't like people would even bother to listen to you if you made an announcement, would they? Who would give a crap?

Yoongi had asked you to give him a call once you'd read the letter but you figured it could wait. You'd call Joon first thing the next morning. You checked the time. Five. The cafe would open in an hour; he'd be up by now.

"Y/N," Namjoon sighed. "What-- what's up?" You hadn't been the one to call first recently.

"Hey." You swallowed. "Can you stop by before work today?"

"Yes." You heard him scrambling around on his end. "I'll be there in five."

As promised, he was there; Namjoon always was. You opened the door and let him hug you for a moment. He rubbed your back as he closed your front door. "Joon," you sighed.

"You okay?" You pulled away as his eyes scanned your face. "Is she up yet?"

"No." He walked in and set the coffee he'd made for you at home on the counter. You thanked him as you picked the mug up.

He took a seat and looked around. "You're doing okay?" he asked. "The place looks good."

"Jungkook cleaned before he left last night." Namjoon's eyebrows raised.

"He was here?" You nodded. "Oh, I see."

"He-- he came and wouldn't leave," you said. That was a lie. You corrected yourself. "I freaked out and locked myself in my room and he took care of Elise and put her to sleep." Namjoon nodded slowly.

"Wow."

"And he cleaned up."

Namjoon sighed and looked at you. You shrugged. "What are you going to do, y/n?" he asked. "You're a mess." You looked down at your lap.

"I know."

"It's been almost two weeks since your birthday." You said nothing. "You have to do something-- the fact that you aren't speaking up is making the situation even worse."

"I-- I know."

"Then why won't you say anything?" You shrugged. "How did it feel for Jungkook to have to take care of your own baby for you?" You looked up at your friend. "Not good?"

"Joon."

"I know it's hard but you have to say what you have to say." You stared. "Say your part-- tweet a paragraph for all I care. Just get it out and move on with your life."