The Mimic

82

Natasha sat y/n down at the front of the quinjet, not wanting her to turn around and have to look at Bruce trying to save Bucky. The sounds of people in pain were enough on their own, she couldn't even imagine how y/n was feeling. Nat's head hurt from being hit with Steve's shield so hard - she probably needed stitches - but her complete focus was on y/n. Nobody else seemed to be focusing on y/n and how she was feeling, so Natasha was going to be there. She was always going to be there.

"Let's get you out of these shoes, hm?" Natasha said in a gentle tone, kneeling down in front of y/n's seat. She doubted y/n could even hear her, but it was better than just leaving her in silence, that would've just made her situation even worse. Nat carefully pulled the blood-covered shoes off of y/n's feet, frowning slightly at the sight of them. "Your feet must hurt after wearing those for so long, these definitely aren't meant for field-trekking!" She hummed, putting on a gentle smile before y/n could notice the frown on her face. Natasha set the ruined shoes to one side, making sure that y/n couldn't see all the blood on them. Not that it would make any difference, y/n was covered in blood and dirt, but Nat was trying her best. 

Y/n didn't respond to any of what Nat was saying. Her eyes were trained on the front of the quinjet, looking out at all the clouds as Steve flew them back. But Natasha could see that she wasn't really paying attention. There was a vacancy in her eyes, an emptiness. She was stuck in her own head. In a complete state of shock. Y/n could hear the pained noises behind her. She could hear Bruce talking to Bucky, trying to keep him awake. His voice and the noises seemed to be amplified in her mind, like they were echoing down an empty hall. It was horrible. Y/n didn't even move when Natasha pulled the shoes off of her feet. If she wasn't on autopilot she would've been very grateful, those shoes were uncomfortable at the party, so wearing them for so long wasn't very pleasant. Nat had draped a jacket over her shoulders at some point, y/n wasn't sure who owned the jacket, but it smelt like Steve's cologne. It was warm. But it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same as being actually held by Bucky.

The quinjet soon landed at the compound, and there was a rush to get Bucky out and into Bruce's lab. During the flight he'd instructed Clint to call Dr Strange for help with Bucky. Even if Dr Strange could no longer perform surgery due to his hands, he could tell Bruce what to do and what not to do. This was their only hope. As soon as the quinjet doors opened, there was a bed waiting for Bucky. "We're just going to move you onto this bed, alright Buck? We've got you. You're almost there." Steve reassured, carefully and quickly moving Bucky from the stretcher to the bed. He could barely look his best friend in the eyes. He knew that if he did he'd start to tear up. Steve didn't want to face the fact that his best friend was dying in front of him. He couldn't. he'd watched him fall to his death once before, but this time it was real. Bucky was smiling up at him with tears in his eyes, he'd already come to terms that these were his last moments. "Steve-" He wheezed, trying his hardest to get his best friend to look at him. But Steve refused, taking shaky breaths in attempt to calm himself down. "No. We're not doing this right now, okay? We can talk after your surgery. You'll be fine." Steve said seriously, patting Bucky's arm slightly before he watched Bucky get rushed off into the compound by Clint and Bruce. However, before tears could even think of forming, he heard someone call his name.

It was Wanda. Vision had been deteriorating more and more during the quick flight. The holes in his head and the sparking from where his arm had been were beginning to get a bit too much. He seemed to be repeating the same phrase over and over again, barely able to stand on his own. It was extremely distressing for Wanda, especially because there was nothing she could personally do to help. She just needed to get him inside. "Wanda, I assure you- Wanda, I assure you, I am okay." Vision repeated over and over, his voice much more metallic and glitchy than usual. Wanda was almost on the verge of tears, struggling to pull him up from his seat. "You'll be okay, Vis. I promise." She whispered, giving a warm smile to his vacant eyes. 

Steve frowned at the sight, quickly rushing over to help Wanda. "Here, I've got him. It's alright, Wanda." He reassured, wrapping Vision's arm around himself and hoisting him up. "Here we go Vis. Just keep moving for me, okay?" Steve hummed, listening as Vision continued to repeat himself. It hurt to see Wanda so distressed. He could see that she was fighting back tears. God, she'd lost so many people in her life. The idea of losing Vision must've been terrifying for her. He was scared of losing Bucky, but he had to put the rest of the team first. Bucky was in good hands now.

Y/n was the last to leave the quinjet. Natasha had purposefully made sure of it, not wanting to cause her any more distress. So there she was, walking barefoot down the empty hallways. Y/n walked slowly, still trying to process everything. Her blood-covered hands were held out in font of her, too scared to touch anything, too scared to move them. It was Bucky's blood. The blood of her lover was on her hands. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. Natasha had a hand on the small of her back, wanting to make sure y/n kept moving. However, the real reason was to let y/n know that she wasn't alone. Natasha was right there with her. Always. Y/n left a bloody footprint trail as she walked down the halls. It was almost eerie - a trail of bloody footprints down a pure white hallway. It was out of place. All of this was out of place.

Y/n soon found herself sat in just a bra and a pair of shorts on the bathroom counter. She wasn't sure how she'd gotten there, but she was there. Y/n felt detached, almost as if she wasn't in her own body. Everything felt as if it was in slow motion, yet y/n couldn't process any of it. Those code words had really messed her up. Y/n stared at the wall opposite her, completely lost in her own head. But, she wasn't alone. Natasha was in the room. The sound of running water was a nice contrast to the cries of pain she'd heard on the way back, but the sight of Bucky stayed prominent in her mind. She would never be able to push that image away. Never.

"Sorry if it's a bit cold, I didn't want to burn you." Natasha murmured with a slight smile. Everyone else had turned the missions room into a sort of medical bay, treating themselves and others for their wounds, but not one person looked back to check on y/n. She was definitely going to scold the rest of the team about it later, but right now her priority was y/n. There was no way in hell that Natasha was going  to let y/n be on her own. So, there they were, in the bathroom together. Natasha had filled up the sink with warm water and some soap, planning on helping y/n clean off. She knew that a bath or a shower would've been easier, but y/n was in no state to be alone near a body of water. Especially due to all the horrible guilt she was probably feeling. So instead Nat dipped a sponge into the warm water, wringing out the excess before she begun to wipe away the blood and the muck. She started with the face, being as careful as possible not to hurt y/n. Natasha wasn't sure if there were any cuts or bruises under all the mess, so it was easier just to go soft. It didn't take long for the water in the sink to turn a murky shade of red, but Nat didn't say anything about it, not wanting to make her feel even worse.

The feeling of the sponge against her skin was actually quite grounding and calming for y/n. Even if she didn't say a word, Natasha knew. It hurt to watch the sponge wash away Bucky's blood from her hands, but y/n knew it had to be done. It would just torture her even more if it stayed there. Y/n listened as Natasha rambled on, narrating everything she was doing. She felt safe with her. Probably the only bond that y/n was sure that she hadn't broken. The look that Wanda gave her when she passed the missions room was heart shattering. Nobody would've thought that Wanda had been her main support system just a few weeks ago.