The Mimic

84

The surgery was successful. It was a difficult one that lasted most of the night, but it was successful. Bucky was okay. There was a long road ahead for recovery, but he was alive.

Steve was the first to be told. Not for any bad reason, it was just that Bruce was exhausted and Steve was the first person he saw. However, instead of going straight into the lab to see Bucky, he decided to tell y/n. Natasha's scolding last night made him realise how inconsiderate they were being to y/n. She wasn't the villain. Those code words had brainwashed her, and of all people Steve should understand that the most. Y/n deserved to be the first to see Bucky. Not just because of pity, but because y/n and Bucky were together, and that sort of love was much stronger than his friendship with Bucky.

The lab had been turned into a makeshift hospital room. There were machines monitoring his breathing and heart rate, and different IVs pumping in enough painkillers to drug up a bus full of people - but even that wasn't a high amount for a super soldier. It was enough to keep Bucky coasting, and that was all he wanted. He wasn't high out of his mind, but he wasn't in pain either. Bucky wanted to be conscious, the feeling of being high on painkillers was never a pleasant experience for him - plus he wanted to see y/n. Most of his torso was wrapped in thick bandages to protect all the different stitches from the heavy surgery last night. That blade went deep into him. Twice. Even if the wounds were now closed, the risk of infection was high.

 Y/n took in a shaky breath as she made her way toward the lab. Nat was beside her the whole time, making sure that she didn't just turn around and go back to her room. Y/n was terrified of going into that room. The rest of the team seemed to be on shaky terms with her, what if Bucky was the same? What if she'd ruined their relationship? Y/n would understand, of course. She almost killed him. But it would destroy her. Bucky was her rock, and the idea of losing him - physically or relationship-wise - would break her. Sleeping without Bucky was already a tough one, the idea of never having him by her side again was horrible. She already felt bad for waking Nat up several times in the night due to nightmares, she didn't want that to be a common thing.

Natasha was exhausted, but she didn't tell y/n that. She knew that the nightmares were bad, but she didn't expect them to be that bad. She had no clue how y/n and Bucky even managed to sleep, especially with them both having nightmares, it must be horrible. Nat was surprised either of them had any energy throughout the day, if she was only running on two hours of sleep she'd be passed out by midday. But, Nat knew better than to complain. Y/n was already feeling terrible, there was no point in rubbing more salt into the wound. 

Natasha had a warm smile on her face as she walked her to the lab, stopping by the door so y/n could go in. "You'll be fine, y/n. Alright? You know each other, it's not like you're going in and talking to a stranger." She hummed, moving to cup y/n's face in her hands. She wanted y/n to look at her, the worried look on her face was enough to show that she wasn't really listening. "You'll be fine. I promise. Okay? Repeat it to me." Nat said in a reassuring tone, she knew she was acting pretty motherly/sisterly to y/n, but she couldn't help it. Y/n needed the reassurance. Y/n couldn't help but smile slightly at the look of Nat's grin. It was nice that someone had her back. "I'll be fine." She repeated in a quiet tone. Y/n didn't feel like she was going to be fine, but there was no turning back now. Natasha nodded, removing her hands from y/n's face. She begun to walk backwards a little, leaving y/n by the door. "Yes you will! Now, if you need me I'm gonna be eating breakfast. Wanda's making waffles and I am not missing out!"

Y/n smiled fondly as she watched Natasha walk away. However, as soon as she was alone again, the worry begun to kick back in. Her hand hovered over the door for a moment, the tightness in her chest seeming to appear. But she had to keep going. Natasha would kill her if she didn't go in. She was going to be fine. It was all going to be fine.

As y/n stepped into the room, a pang of guilt hit her harder than expected. She couldn't take her eyes off of Bucky as she carefully walked around the bed and to the chair beside him. Bucky seemed to be asleep, and y/n almost preferred it that way. She didn't know if she could deal with another betrayed look like the one that Wanda gave her yesterday. Y/n took in a sharp breath as she scanned over him. God, she hated seeing Bucky like this. He was so bruised and beaten up, and the thick bandaging around his torso just made y/n feel even worse. She blinked hard in attempt to get rid of the tears in her eyes, reaching out to take Bucky's hand in hers. Y/n gently squeezed his hand, trying her hardest not to yank any of the IVs out. That was the problem with only having one real arm, all the drips had to fit into one.

Bucky was awake. He'd woken up when the door opened, but decided to keep his eyes shut. He was exhausted, simply assuming that it was Bruce or someone coming to check on him. However, as soon as he felt someone grab his hand he knew exactly who it was. A small smile appeared on his face, opening one eye to look over at her. God, she seemed to stressed and spaced out. Bucky gently rubbed a thumb over y/n's knuckles to get her attention, looking over at her with tired eyes.

"Hi Doll."