Into Bayverse - book 1

Chapter 22. Can you hold me...

Sideswipe and I spend the entire morning together, but not the moment came to say goodby. He grasped for my hand as we watched my parents talk to Optimus and Lennox. "Skylar, are you coming?" my mom shouted. I turned towards Sideswipe, looking him in the eyes. "I guess this is the moment..." he sighed. I nodded, hugging him tightly. He hugged me back and I felt some tears ran down my face in the process.

"You make me cry if you cry..." I mocked, brushing some tears from my face and so did he with a watery chuckle. I hugged Sunstreaker as well, "bye Sunstreaker... thank you for everything," he gave a small nod and pressed a kiss on my cheek. "Thank you for helping me too," he whispered near my ear. I nodded grasped Sideswipe's hand one more time. I let go of his hand and walked over to Prime and Lennox. "Thank you, for everything."

"My pleasure. Goodluck, Skylar."
I gave a small nod. Before I got here, I already said goodbye to the other Autobots before we got here. The space bridge opened up for us. "You will end up where you were before, at home," Que said.
I looked at the twins one more time before I followed my family and stepped through the portal. It closed immediately behind us. The feeling that followed overwhelmed me. We were here, in our house like we haven't been gone.

Our living room was pretty much destroyed by the blast and firefighters were still around. Outside, I sat down in a brig wall and looked at where our wall was supposed to be. "You're okay?" I looked up to Chase and nodded. "Yes, I am fine... why wouldn't I?" I mocked and fiercely brushed some tears off my face.

He settled beside me. "You didn't want to leave, huh?" He asked. "No..." I mumbled and touched the necklace for a moment. "No..."

((Sideswipe's P.O.V))
The space bridge shut behind Skylar and there was a silence. I could only stare at the portal so many emotions overwhelmed me right now. "You're okay?"
I looked at Sunstreaker and nodded, "yeah... yeah." I left him standing there and decided to leave the base.

While keeping my eyes on the road, my vision became blurry. I am such an idiot, I never should have let her go this easily, I should have forced her to stay. I should have fought for her. I wish I wasn't such a chicken and just told her how I feel about her. How special she is to me. Maybe it was obvious but I told her it was irresponsible from my side to not act like her guardian.

Skylar had been the only female I ever truly loved, or who was just as sweet to me as I was for her. I can't believe it's all gone, that she's gone and left such a big emptiness behind. I pulled over and parked trying to realize that she wouldn't be waiting for me when I get back.

When I got back, my twin approached. "Are you okay?" He asked. "Yes, I feel fine. I needed to get some things things straight. Skylar played a big part in my life for a couple of weeks. She was my charge, my main focus and now... she's just gone. She left and I will never see her again. I guess that hurt."

He hugged me, which surprised me. I think he understands my pain right. "Come on... let's get some Energon, shall we?" He asked. I nodded and sucked in a breath, trying to calm down. We settled in the rec room with some Energon and Sunstreaker has never talked as much in his life as he did now. To distract my mind from going back to Skylar and appreciated it. At least, Skylar didn't leave me behind with a complete lonely feeling. She gave me my brother back and that's something I will always be grateful for.

That night, I snuggled into my brother and fell asleep quite fast. Today events tired me out not only emotionally. Also physically and Ironhide had a planned a busy schedule for me the next morning.
"How do you feel, kid?" He asked I approached him. "I feel fine... hurt, but fine." He studied me for a moment. "Is this how it feels to be spark broken?" I asked. He flashed me a smile and laid his hand on my shoulder. "Yeah, that's how it feels," he mumbled. "It suck."

"I know. Come on, maybe this will distract your mind."
"I should have fought for her, huh?"
"You think it would have changed anything?"
"Maybe, I don't know. I would suck as boyfriend for sure."

Ironhide halted and turned around. "Boyfriend?" He asked. "Yeah, you know... we could have been dating. I wanted to date her but thought it would be irresponsible. Especially after we,—" I cut myself off and waved my hand. "Doesn't matter." I passed him. "You interfaced with her?"
"No, she was on her period and didn't want to interface, so we didn't."

"Making out was good enough for me too. I didn't regret it, but it was wrong because it was my duty, my responsibility to keep her safe." Ironhide stared at me for several moment. "Go on, judge me, yell at me. Call me irresponsible for having some fun," I scowled and crossed my arms,— preparing for the worst. "I didn't know you were this serious."

"This serious? You think I am that type of mech to leave her spark broken? Did you really think I would hurt her like I have been hurt?" I snapped disgustedly. "No, I thought you wouldn't be this romantic. Everything you did... you truly loved that girl."
"Yeah, she made me happy. That's why I said... I should have fought for her," I mumbled annoyed. "Honestly, I didn't think you would care this much about her," Ironhide said quietly. He really seemed to be surprised. Didn't last long though, "come on, Sideswipe! Let's go!"