The Greatest Stripper (Published Under PSICOM)

Chapter 14

MOMMY

"Congratulations Miss. Del Mundo you are 2 weeks pregnant," my heart just stopped beating as the doctor said that, and fear around my body prevailed.

I started trembling inside and out, I just can't make any react right now. I don't know what to do. This wasn't even in the picture I was looking for; I just shook my head and watch my hands shake while the doctor kept on explaining things to Erille.

When she notices that my hands were shaking, she holds my hands and grip on it so tight, I slowly lift my head to gaze at her but she continues listening to the things the doctor said, while I just started hearing the loudest silence in my head.

It was a deafening voice around my ears, and I felt that my life was about to fall apart. My dreams started to fade; my goals started to vanish.

"That's all for now, I will see you next month for your next checkup ok, be careful Mommy," the Doctor said when Rie helped me stand up, "Thank you Doc," Rie said and guided me out of that suffocating room.

As we walked through the hallway of the hospital, I just felt so numb and I didn't bother talking. I suddenly lose my voice, all I see is the clear path home and nothing else. Rie didn't try to ask me something, she just grips on my head so tight, like she was making me feel that she was here beside me.

But I was so closed-minded to understanding my situation right now, I can't even process it in my mind, All I know right now is that my dreams aren't visible in my path anymore.

I'm losing things, when we arrive home, I instantly let go of Rie's hand and run to our room. "Louen!" Rie tried to stop me but I already locked myself inside and weakly seat behind the door, I cover my mouth and cry all out.

I'm so afraid on what will happen next, I don't know if I can do this, I don't know how to properly love myself, pano pa kaya pag may anak na ako, natatakot ako na baka maramdaman niya lang ang naramdaman ko.

"Louen, alam kong tatakot ka pero nandito ako please buksan mo ang pinto, sasamahan kita sa pagsubok na ito," I heard Rie's crying outside the door trying to please me on opening it, but I'm too weak to lean on anyone right now.

I can't do this, "Louen nandito lang ako," Rie whispered behind the door. What she said slowly brings me the strength to open the door and let her in. As soon as she entered, she quickly hugged me and rubbed my back.

I cry so hard on her arms, "Ahh, n-natatakot ako," I utter as I rest on her shoulders. "Shhhh nandito ako, kasama mo ako wag kang matakot," she said and hugged me even tighter.

And suddenly I remember my competition, and it breaks my heart knowing that I can't do it anymore. I hide my face in Rie's arms and cry even more.

"I'll lose everything, Rie," I whisper while I sob so hard, "No, Louen, this is the start where you'll own everything, baby is a hope" She whispered, but I didn't believe it.

We stayed like that for an hour until I fall asleep and wake up with numb eyes, my eyes were swollen, at ako lang ang magisa dito sa kwarto, nakita ko ang note sa tabi ng kama na nagsasabi na lumabas lang saglit si Erille.

I look at my stomach and bite my lower lip to control my tears again, I don't know what to feel, I don't want to blame this baby, because it's clear that this is my fault and I don't want Leusam to know about this because, I'm just a stripper he paid for his needs and entertainment, knowing that I'm carrying his child, this might just cause misfortune for him.

He was so nice and too good to be true, I can't afford to watch him suffer and take responsibility for the thing he didn't even want. This is all my fault; I was too careless. Now I'm losing everything in just a snap. I can't keep this baby inside my womb.