Love is a Broken Window | Cricky [C]

13 | Cigarettes

| Ricky's POV |

Having a nice show definitely helped me feel better. I still couldn't help from thinking about last night though. Everything with Ghost, it had him on my mind a lot. Even during the show, I found myself staring at him from time to time. He was attractive, but he was one of my best friends! I can't do that, I can't do him! That would be so many levels of wrong.

After the show was over, I stood outside the back door of the venue, having a smoke. I watched as cars went down the avenue, fans leaving the show to go back home to their warm houses. A warm house would be nice about now, because it's freezing!

The back door opened, and Ghost walked out. He had his pack of smokes in his hand, and began to pull one out as he leaned against the brick wall.

"Need a light?" I asked.

I just put out my cigarette, but I grabbed a new one. My stress level was so bad, and my thoughts so jumbled, one wasn't going to do it.

"Yeah, thanks." He muttered.

I stuck a smoke in between my lips, holding it there as I flicked my lighter. Ghost leaned over to light hit, causing our faces, more particularly our lips, to be very close to each other. My heartbeat increased when he leaned in like that. Maybe it's just these new thoughts, causing fake illusions.

He took a puff off his cigarette, then let it rest as he spoke. "I know you probably think I forgot what happened last night, what you said, but I didn't, and uh... I think, we should talk about it."

So I guess we are going to address this, before I fully know what this is. "You know when I said you were talking in your sleep, it wasn't that you were talking. You weren't. You were doing something else." I confessed.

"I've done... a lot in my sleep. So I know, whatever I did, it was more than talking, but what exactly happened, I need you to tell me." He said as he looked over at me.

I couldn't meet my eyes to his. It would make it harder. "You were, um... you were, erm, k-kissing my neck, and b-biting me." I stammered.

"Oh, is that all?" Ghost joked. He laughed as he adjusted his weight against the building. "I've done worse. I have a rare sleep disorder, that makes me have sex in my sleep sometimes."

"I've never heard of that." I said, mostly thinking he was bullshiting me.

"That's why it's rare. If you don't believe me, Google sexsomnia. It's real and I have been diagnosed. So, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I understand, but if you have something like that, why would you invite me, or anyone into your bed?" I asked.

He glanced away, taking in more smoke. As he let it out, he sighed. "It, um, it hasn't happened in years. That's find of the thing... I found, from having roommates and relationships over the years, that I only do it when I'm sexually attracted to whomever I'm in bed with..."

It took a minute to sink in. "A-are you saying... you're... sexually attracted, to m-me?" I questioned in disbelief, staring at him with wide eyes.

"I, well... yeah. But, last night, you said, you liked it. Not that, directly, but you implied it."

I leaned against the building, taking a break to puff my cigarette. "Um... I guess, I kind of did... I was tired, you know, didn't know what I was saying." I blushed.

"Ricky, don't play dumb with me." He smirked.

"Dev... I-I-I don't know, that's a lot to think about... us, you know. I have a boyfriend, an-and you're going to be a father soon because of Kylie, and it would be weird with the band and the guys and fans and everything."

Ghost threw his cigarette on the ground and stomped it out. Then he ran his hand through his hair and looked at me, studying me. He walked closer, moving in front of me. Ghost put his arm against the building over my head, looking down at me.

"Forget all the excuses. Just, tell me the truth. Do you like me?" He asked simply, like it was a simple question, when it wasn't!

I stared right into his silver eyes. Damn, they were beautiful. "Yes, but-"

"No buts." He cut me off.

"Dev-"

"Shhhh."

Ghost leaned in, running his fingertips down my jawline. He used his hand to tilt my head up, and he pressed his lips against mine. They were so warm, in this freezing weather. I kissed him back, melting like ice on hot day in July. I reached my hands behind his neck, being careful I didn't burn him with my cigarette.

He slowly pulled away. It was painful and cold to have his lips leave mine.

"How long has it been since you felt passion in a kiss?" He whispered in my ear.

"Too long." I admitted.

"I told you, Jani doesn't love you. Let me show you how to be loved. Please, Ricky."

I took a deep breath. Looking over his shoulder, my eyes hit the bus in the distance as I thought. I could see the guys walking around on the bus, the shades on the windows were up. All the sudden, Chris came walking out. He looked directly at us, and his smile fell. It hurt.

His disapproval of seeing Ghost on me like this, it hurt. Could I deal with this it it didn't go well? Am I ready to help him be a father to him and Kylie's baby? Should I leave Jani?

Ghost looked down at me, waiting for an answer. Should I say yes?