55 | Slowly

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| Chris' POV |

God, Ricky always managed to light up my skin. Every inch of me felt like it was burning in a fire, in a good way. I wanted him. I wanted him again, and I knew by how feverish his kisses were, that he wanted me too. We walked back to my hotel room, not able to keep our hands off each other the whole time. 

I had him pressed against the room door, with my lips to his neck like a vampire. One of my hands was behind his back, while the other was looking for the room key in me pockets.

Ricky put his hand on my shoulder and gently pushed me back. "Chris," He whimpered. "Are we still going with that whole... fresh start, thing?"

I lifted my head to look at him. "Yeah, unless you don't want to-"

"No! No, it's just... This was our first actual date and, I'm not a fuck on the first date type of person. Despite, what happened before." He said. 

I took a deep breath. "No, you're right. We decided to forget before and start over. We... really shouldn't do this, do each other, so soon."

I was disappointed, but I completely understood. We should wait. The more we wait, the more it'll mean in the future. He was something I wanted to savor and cherish.

"Thank you." Ricky softly smiled. 

"Yeah." I replied, giving him the same small smile. "Can I at least walk you back to your room?" 

"Mhm. I'm sure the guys are dying to hear everything." 

I chuckled. "Ryan and Balz are like two teenage girls when it comes to this shit." 

"And everyone says Devin is the girly one." Ricky laughed as we started walking. 

| Ricky's POV |

Chris walked me back to my room and gave me a kiss goodbye. He didn't come in the room with me. He was tired and not up for the guys asking a million and one questions. Plus I think he was a little upset with me. I know he wanted to have sex, but I wasn't ready to commit like that and... to be honest... Last time I regretted. It made me feel like a total whore to hook up like that! 

I know he understood. That doesn't mean he liked it. Otherwise, the date went well. This is the start of something good. I just have an amazing feeling about all this. 

I opened the door to mine and Devin's hotel room. We were sharing, Chris was rooming with Josh down the hall. Balz and Ryan of course were sharing a room across from ours, but they invaded my room! As soon as I walked in, they muted the TV and were staring at me. 

"Welcome back! How'd it go?" Balz asked. 

Ryan swat his shoulder. "Dude, you saw them out front. They were all over each other. I think we know how it went!" 

"I'd hope Chris isn't that fast." Devin muttered, not looking up from his computer. 

I blushed deeply at his comment. If only he knew what Chris is really like in the bedroom. Stamina should be his middle name! But that is none of their business, nor did I experience that tonight.

"Nothing happened. We came back up here. He walked me to my hotel room, and kissed me goodbye. We had a good time. He's a great date." I grinned. 

"I'm glad." Devin responded. "It's late. You two get out of our room so we can sleep!" 

"Yes, mom." Balz joked. 

"I like how you automatically assume he's more of a mom than he is a dad." I snickered. 

"Hey, on that note, how is Bella?" Ryan asked. He got up, along with Balz, and started to gather his things. 

Dev smiled, thinking of his baby girl. "She's good. Shiloh just text me a picture of her not too long ago. I miss them." 

"Two more weeks." I reminded him. 

"The longest two weeks ever." Balz complained. "I can't wait to get home. And, get to bed. Goodnight, guys." 

"Night." Devin and I waved goodbye. 

They left the room. I went to the bathroom and washed off my makeup, taking off my jewelry as I did so. I started unbuttoning my shirt as I walked out of the bathroom. Devin was in the middle of putting away his laptop. I grabbed a t-shirt from my suitcase, throwing my dirty dress shirt in there. Then I fell on the bed, so ready for some sleep. Tonight was nice, but I'm worn out. 

"So?" Devin said. 

I glanced over at him as he was changed into nightwear. "So?"

He threw his jeans over a chair, replying, "So what really happened? Something is bothering you." 

I sighed. "Two things. The first, he opened up to me about something... big, that made me think. His grandfather died when he was in high school. That I knew, but tonight he told me that he never told his grandfather that he was gay because he was worried about him dying disappointed in him. Do you think his grandfather is the only person he's lied to?" 

"He's never told the fans." Devin pointed out. "So, it wouldn't surprise me if he makes a habit of it."

"I never really noticed much before to realize it, but Dev," I paused as I turned on my side. I propped my head up on my elbow. "Is Chris a closet case?"

He sat down on the edge of his bed as he fiddled with getting his phone charger plugged in by the nightstand that separated our two beds. "I never really realized it." He said. "But, I think so. I mean we just always knew, but... Now I think we're the only people that knew." 

"Why did he even bother telling us?"

"What was he supposed to say when it came to his ex? I mean TJ was in the band for a long time." 

I laid on my back and sighed as I thought back to it. "It was so weird. TJ was our best friend. Then we just came to practice one day and he flipped on Chris, then the rest of us. He accused me of sleeping with Chris, and tried to hit me." 

"What happened?" He asked. 

"Jani hit him." I scoffed. "That's one thing I'll give Jani. He might've hurt me, but he didn't put up with anyone else hurting me."

"That's not a good thing, Rick. It shows how possessive he was." 

"I guess. Like a week later, Chris told us that him and TJ broke up and TJ no longer was welcome around us. We just always saw them together, that them being gay wasn't a big deal. I didn't realize that it was, for Chris at least."

Dev snit. "Isn't that an odd change of events? You're the one, for once, that had the courage to do something." 

I laughed. "Yeah, that is a little backwards. It wasn't like that tonight though." 

"What do you mean?"

"I was the coward tonight. We came so close to sleeping together, again, and I chickened out. I feel like I let him down." I explained. 

"Ricky, Sweetie, if a guy won't wait for you, they aren't worth it. I'm sure Chris understood though. You shouldn't worry so much. I know he loves you. I can see the look in his eyes when he looks at you." 

"Thanks, Devin." I smiled. "You get that look when you look at Shiloh, by the way." 

He grinned sweetly. "That's because I do love him, with all my heart. How we got together might have been... and odd situation, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world. I love him and Bella so much."

"We'll be home before you know it." I reassured. "I promise."

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