Love is a Broken Window | Cricky [C]

29 | Alone

| Ricky's POV |

It still wasn't that late after Jani and I had finished having "Christmas sex" as he likes to joke and call it. We have sex every other day of the year, so I don't see why today makes it any different. Oh well, at least I made him happy.

My head laid against his bare chest, and my eyes couldn't break themselves away from the clock. It's not that late at all, and Chris hasn't text me back. I let out an audible sigh.

Jani messily ran his fingers through my hair, asking, "What's wrong?"

"I talked to all the others today, but I haven't heard from Chris all day. I'm worried." I responded.

"He does live across the hall, Babe." Jani reminded me. "Just go knock on his door."

I sat up in bed and began to fix my sex hair. "I think I'm going to. You don't mind me leaving after we just had sex?"

He frowned a little, diverting his eyes from mine. "It's fine."

"Thanks, Babe!" I smiled and stole a kiss from him.

| Chris' POV |

I've never handled the holidays well. This was when my ex always would get back with his drinking. The sheer sight of Christmas lights and brightly wrapped presents brought me back to that time. I don't want to think of such depressing memories, when I should be focused on the good ones. Oh who am I kidding? I haven't had a good Christmas memory since I was a little kid.

I heard a knock at the door. Who the Hell... Everyone else is with their families! It shouldn't have been a surprise to see Ricky. He was dressed in a tight black shirt, under a red hoodie. A million necklaces were around his neck, as always, and he wouldn't go a day without wearing black skinny jeans. He still looked so cute... argh, stop it! He's not cute! You don't find your best friend cute!

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I was worried. I text you and you never replied. That's not like you." He replied.

I found it very heart touching to hear him say he was worried about my. It just, made me oddly feel joy.

"I'm fine." I lied. "I just haven't looked at my phone. I was watching cheesy Christmas movies all day and Skyped with my mom."

"Oh, okay. I just wanted to check. I should get back to Jani." He muttered. Honestly, he seemed like he didn't want to.

"Are you sure you don't want to come in?"

Ricky looked up at me. He cleared his throat, glancing across the hall to his own apartment. He was debating it; debating how mad Jani would be, how much abuse it he would get.

"You don't have to if you don't-"

"No," Ricky interrupted. "I'd love to. I see Jani everyday anyways. I never see you anymore!"

"Not like we live on a bus together for the majority of the year." I chuckled as I let him into my apartment.

"Yeah but actually hanging out together, outside of tour and without the others, when was the last time we did that?"

I took a moment to think. Yeah he was right. "Good point. How's your Christmas been so far?"

He sat down on the couch with me, replying, "Uh, I talked to my parents on the phone this morning. Snuggled with the cat most the day and watched Christmas specials. Then Jani came around, being all kissy and everything."

"You don't seem too thrilled about it." I pointed out.

"I don't know..." He trailed off. "Sex anymore, it feels like a chore."

"It shouldn't. You should never get bored of having sex with someone if you really love them."

"I thought everyone gets a little bored of sex from time to time. You know, because people's sex drives all work differently. And Jani's, it's always permanently going at high speed. I'd be good with sex about once every two weeks."

"Real sex too." I laughed. "Not, Jani's version."

Ricky turned his head in confusion. He looked like an innocent little puppy. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean... I mean I've heard you two on occasion. During tour, in hotels, or at home when I pass by your place. Jani is a little... fast." I muttered.

"Are you saying my boyfriend comes fast?" He asked, seemingly shocked I would say that.

"...Well, yeah, he kind of does."

Ricky paused for a moment. Then he laughed. "I thought it was just my imagination!"

"No!" I laughed with him.

He ran a hand through his hair, with that sweet smile on his face. He glowed. Ugh, what am I saying?

"I've only ever been with three men in my whole life. My high school sweetheart, whom was pretty average I guess. Ghost, which between you and me, he has the stamina of a fucking ox. And Jani, who always got it over with in about five minutes flat." Ricky explained.

I bit down on my tongue as an impulse thought ran across my mind; I would love to show him what real sex feels like. Then I snapped myself out of it, telling myself that those thoughts are wrong. I glanced away, then looked back at Ricky, running my eyes along his body.

He did have an amazing body too. So thin, yet he did have some tone to him. His face was so beautiful. That gorgeous, flawless pale skin framed by soft black hair. And eyes, so gorgeous they could cut through diamonds.

Ricky was a gorgeous, sweet, caring, loving, amazing human being. Maybe Shiloh was right; my heart does yearn for him. That doesn't mean he wants me! He's going on five years with Jani... Five years without real love. The thought is just now becoming reality... I want to show him what real love feels like.