Diaz

The Truth

Her, peep mumma bears hand.

Amount of words used in this chapter: 556

Sensitive topic about my life, suicided and anorexia story read at own risk of trigger warnings.

I'm sorry I've been inactive but I've decided to tell you the truth about why I've not been online much and why I've done very much so sensitive topics for my chapters which doesn't normally happen.

So last year my friend committed suicide like Sylvia which was sort of how I knew a bit how funerals happen and the pain you feel when your told it.

You don't think you can carry on and you feel guilty since you loved that person, he was my best friend.

I'll never truly forgive myself, i was the last person he saw and I knew he was sad but I shrugged it off and told him that I had to leave early to go home.

Never did I think I'd never see his smile again.

Four years ago to two years ago (yr5-7) I was diagnosed with an eating disorder (anorexia) I didn't feel worthy to eat I was afraid of food.

I was in a life threatening state at one point, at 13 you could see all my bones, I was Slowly dying, I was ideally supposed to be in the 90s near 100s but I wasn't I was in the 70s and at some points in the 60s.

I worked out a lot which made things worse.

I tried to over dose after my cat died since it was my dead friends birthday as well three weeks before so I was already distraught.

I had a note already written on my bed as I had not expected to come home, the next day my cat died depressing though right not just me being dramatic?

I was brought into hospital and was told to do loads of tests, I did.

My found out heart breaking news:
My body was used to the feeling of death so now when I over dosed or such it doesn't impact me at the start as sudden as most people would since they said my body was already dying since due to my past anorexia my muscles were already eating each other so I didn't have much left to keep if makes sense.

It was a complex discussion.

I felt as if I was dying.

I was dying.

I'm healthy now, i weight still though in the 80s but I look healthy, I have curves and my period back again, I feel happier, I'd rather share my loved ones deaths then morn it.

When my cat died hers and my friends name became a name I banned from the house, selfish I know but I didn't want to feel the pain of thinking about her.

Anyways so leading up too this I'm here to say after 'mi Amore' is over I'm finishing Wattpad.

The book will still be on for others to read just won't be updated, last three chapters come out soon, no more will be expected.

Thank you for nearly 18k views and 350 votes means a lot too me.

Remember your worth and always keep your head high, love you all so much.

If you've read this thank you for taking a time out your day to understand, bye guys.