Diaz

f o r t y

Chapter- how do I go on when I'm still here and your not.
Amount of words used in this chapter- 1255

Zeus's Pov:

My room was destroyed, my blankets were all over, my arms were wrapped securely around Emmaline's pillow as I inhaled her scent struggling to breathe without it.

My eyes were sore from crying, my fists were sore from fighting, my throat was sore from screaming and my heart was sore from loving.

My legs were underneath me as my chest heaved in and out as I looked at the cupboard seeing a photo of Emmaline laughing, her smile was so bright.

It was hard to look away, she was beautiful.

"Zeus?" I heard but I wasn't listening my eyes was glued on her, on her face, her smile.

Her everything.

"Zeus, baby?" The voice spoke again but my heart still felt hollow, empty even.

"Zeus" the voice spoke again this time closer until they had decided to engulf me in a hug holding me tightly against them.

I broke.

That's when I officially broke.

"She's gone" I whimpered pushing my face closer into the sent I recently found comfort in, tears fled from my eyes at rapid speed making it unbearable almost.

"Shes left me, she told me she'd never leave." My voice was muffled by the fabric of her shirt, I crumbled into her chest slowly letting go of the pillow as I wrapped my arms around her waist punching the ground before wrapping it back around her.

Strangled cries erupted from my lips as I clung onto her like she was life support refusing to let go.

"It hurts, mum make it stop. It hurts" I whimpered placing a hand on my heart trying to rip the fabric so I could rip my heart out to remove the constant pain in my chest.

It stuck.

"Zeus-" she started but I cut her off with a cry, I shuffled upwards standing on my feet placing my hands in my hair as I paced around the room.

I felt more eyes on me so I looked up seeing Zion and Grayson stood there with sorrowful looks making me shake my head repeatedly.

"No,no,no! She's not gone! She won't leave me alone. She promised. She promised." I whispered the last bit mainly too myself as tears fell from my eyes my pain prominent on my facial features.

"My-my-FUCK" I screamed grabbing the photograph and slamming it down on the floor refusing to look at it one last time, my heart clenched and my stomach did summersaults.

"I hear her mum, I-I still see her and I-I-she made me a better person. And now-now shes gone" I scrambled out fisting my hand in my hair ripping it but nothing came out.

I grabbed the sheets she slept in and lifted it slightly, "it still smells like her, it does but she's not here to sleep in the missing spot on the bed." I pointed out.

"Her eyes, her smile, her face, there burned into my soul and I-I" I nodded wildly before walking to the closet grabbing a piece of clothing from her while ripping out the dagger in my waist band.

"Zeus stop-" the sound of the material cutting cut her off, she gasped placing her hands over her mouth.

"I want her back, I want her back Ma" I turned around facing her my eyes swollen and red but sore from crying.

"I love her, I'll only ever love her and she's been ripped from me." I dropped to my knees my hands by my side as I take in everything.

"She's gone, I'm never going to see her again." I dangerously decided to look up at my mother but she looked at me like I was a stranger, I looked at Zion he looked at me as if I was someone who needed pity, as if I was a stranger on the street completely brokenly mad, my farther looked at me with sorrow as he tried to fight back his own tears threatening to spill.

"I know how much she meant to you son, I know." Grayson said calmly the anger I felt for him disappeared.

"She's left me dad." I whimpered connecting are eyes together.

"I know you do son but you have three kids who will love you with everything they have in them. Emmaline would of wanted you to live for her, don't forget that." With that he left.

My mother came to walk over to me but I pushed her away, I pushed passed Zion and walked into Oakley room.

I haven't looked at her in 4 days, it burned me too much.

Every time I looked at her I saw her and I didn't want to see her so it was easier to never look.

"Hello princess" I whispered in a soft voice walking over too her, she giggled slightly making me smile sadly.

"I'm sorry I haven't been the best farther but I'm going to be here for you till the end." I cooed leaning down and wrapping my arms around her body picking up up and bringing her too my chest.

I sat down on the moving chair and starting moving forwards and backwards, I pulled her face back slightly to get a look at her, I no longer wish to be afraid.

She had blonde spikes coming out her head with bright blue eyes to compliment them her rosey cheeks stood out with her perfectly tanned skin and strawberry lips.

I pulled her body into mine once more as I sung a little song.

You've got the words to change a nation
But you're biting your tongue
You've spent a life time stuck in silence
Afraid you'll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?
So come on, come on
Come on, come on
You've got a heart as loud as lions
So why let your voice be tamed?
Maybe we're a little different
There's no need to be ashamed
You've got the light to fight the shadows
So stop hiding it away
Come on, come on
I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream 'til the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it, no oh

My heart felt heavy as I kissed her forehead goodnight, I placed her back in the crib bringing the elephant blanket too her allowing her to sleep with it.

My heart felt less heavy but the aching was still there, I don't think it will ever go.

I walked into the boys room to see them laying on bed together whispering amongst each other.

"Hey" I whispered nervously walking up the stairs and climbing onto the bed beside them facing them while giving them a soft smile.

"Hey" Zayn and Diego said in sync making me chuckle.

"I'm sorry I haven't been the best dad but it's going to change okay? I'm not going to be like this forever." They nodded sadly, I wrapped my arms around there small frames and pulled there bodies onto mine hugging them close into me.

"Thank you for being brave when I couldn't be" I heard soft snores come from there tiny lips, maybe I'll sleep here my rooms too messy to sleep in anyway.

With that I closed my eyes dreaming of her.

It's always her.