~Season one ~
"When the rain hit the ground and the dirt turn to mud When the loyalty get real you treat yo homies like yo blood Stack yo cash up cuz in these streets it ain't no love."
VERY MATURE CONTENT AHEAD
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I rush into the locker room quickly searching for my bag as my chest moves up and down fast as hell while my breathing becomes uncontrollable.
I step in a stall and slam the door locking it before pulling the items out my purse preparing my lines and sniffing them up as fast as I can numbing my body to become relax and calmer than before .
Being in clubs around all these dirty disrespectful ass men and untrustworthy women , I have to keep my guard up which leads to me being overwhelmed and then I break down completely.
When that man was just pulling on me practically begging me to leave with him, I felt my anxiety rising by the second and I knew I would eventually explode and have a full blown panic attack . It's not much I can do to control them and since I'm always in environments like this , it's no stopping them anytime soon either .
That's exactly why I sniff this drug up . I know my parents would pop a vein in their forehead if they knew I was doing this to myself and honestly I never thought I would be this person either , but it's the only thing getting me by on these rough days . It's not much else I can do for myself , this the only thing giving me enough energy to survive.
Thank god to whoever that was that got that man to get away though. If it wasn't for him this night could've ended off worse than it already has .
I know I said thank you to him already But I wish I could've at least gotten him a free drink or something for making me feel mildly protected .
Actually, I don't think I even caught his name or barely even saw his face in that low light . All I know is that he handled that situation harder than ive ever saw anyone do and I finally felt safe for once . In that moment I felt like he wouldn't let anything happen to me and I don't even know him . That's how kentrell is supposed to make me feel but a stranger does it before him . What a man I chose huh ?
"Jayda boo are you okay ?" I hear dess asks through the stalls following a light knock .
"Uhh-hh ..." I stutter scurrying around trying to clean up the mess I made around the stall with my substance "y-yeah I'm fine " I tell her getting most of it up before checking my face making sure there's no leftovers.
It's bad enough that I'm doing it , everybody don't need to know .
"I know it was rough out there tonight but I promise it's going to get better , he not gone bother you anymore " she says while I flutter my eyes trying not to cry . Not just because of the situation tonight but because it's not going to get any better once I leave here . The terror continues at home .
"I'm okay "I lie getting up off the ground picking up my bags then unlocking the stall , opening it .
As soon as the door widens her arms raise up as she wraps them around me tightly , giving me the most comforting hug ive had in a long time . I really need this even though I haven't even known her for more than three hours . It still feels more genuine then the man I've known for years .
