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The Calm

February 28, 2007

Natania made no attempt to hide her glare from the instructor who was gesturing for them to step up on the scale. She only softened when Leo sent her a nervous smile. He stepped up, eyes clenched.

It was perhaps the most ridiculous thing, fearing an object that was so typical in daily life, but they all stared down the scale with shallow breath. An innate object that flashed numbers was to decide their futures, and that was possibly more ridiculous than fearing it.

They all winced as the instructor sighed loudly enough for all of them to hear. Leo couldn't look at the number colored red looking up at him, but even as he stepped back down he refused to meet anyone's eyes.

"Shrimpie," the man who was guiding them mumbled, and if it wouldn't have been for Thomas's quick reflexes Nat would have decked the grown man.

Natania and Thomas, with their names at the beginning of the alphabet had already gone, and now Jaclyn had to wait long treacherous minutes for her turn. Weigh-ins were never a problem for her. She hated thinking about it, because she knew so many struggled for weeks to come in just under their marks, but she had never had to worry before.

Her body, though changing, looked great. Besides she was a principal. Marie Taglioni, Lynn Seymour, Isadora Duncan. None of them had perfect dancer bodies and they were legends. Jaclyn was comfortable with appearance, and no one else seemed to have a problem with it either.

"Webber," the nutritionist called, and she shuffled forward.

Unlike Leo her eyes were glued on the blinking lines, and the numbers were a reflection of her horror. With the numbers coming up, her stomach dropped, but that feeling of utter ridiculousness returned.

Nine stone

One Hundred and twenty-six pounds.

How many women would kill to be 126? And here she was sweating bullets.

But Jaclyn knew the number would not please the faculty, especially considering it was so much larger than the last time her weight was recorded her graduation year. Nevermind that it was perfectly reasonable to gain fourteen pounds, of muscle mostly, in six years.

The nutritionist mumbled something intelligible, and scribbled away at his clipboard. Jaclyn didn't even realize he'd left until Natania came up and gently pulled her from the scale. Someone guided her from the room back to the locker room. Maybe it was Nat, maybe it was Thomas. Her mind was too busy to care.

What would happen now?

Surely this would mean nothing. She was a principal, there were certain assuraties that come with that position... right? More than that, her boyfriend's father was the president of the whole company. She was protected. She was protected. She was...

"Jac, you're shaking."

Her head jerked to reality, feeling the intense trembling that was gripping her bones. There she stood, Thomas holding her upright. Eyes blown wide, she surveyed the locker room, horrified that everyone was watching her warily. They knew where she had come from too, what it was about.

Jaclyn dested the pity

But she nearly raged over their fear. How was this right?

-----

March 16, 2007

Jaclyn almost thought the whole situation was going to vanish into oblivion.

Rehearsals continued normally for weeks, press attention started to dwindle, and no one bothered her. No one brought up her change in mood, but to the people she was around it didn't matter. Her directors and choreographers didn't seem to care as long as she left her problems at the door, and her friends knew what it was like to have an axe like this dangling over your head. It was easy to keep it from Willam, who was training, but tonight's dinner would be a whole different story.