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July 7, 2017
She'll blame it on the stress later, later when the day is ending and she's staring at a strange ceiling with nothing but her exhaustion and questions. By then the pictures from the banquet will be online and the stories will be writing themselves, but Jaclyn will be solely focused on her husband with nothing else to worry about.
But right now there's still something she can do, variables that will affect how the trip will go. Kate and her spent weeks planning outfits, pulling out several items from her retired wardrobe that were mostly thrifted in Paris in her twenties. Other parts of her outfits were put together based on local trends in the country, to try and push the narrative that a part of her is still French in some way.
In England she wouldn't dare wear a suit to meet a high ranking politician let alone allow her hair to be so free, but in France it'll be expected.
Still, none of it could matter.
Jaclyn's so busy chewing her lip, and inspecting the seams of her suit jacket she doesn't notice William falling more and more into himself beside her.
Not until Mia speaks up.
"Daddy are you okay?" Mia looks up at him with curious eyes, something William barely registers as he dazes at the pastures and towns that smear across the train's window. Jaclyn snaps at the question immediately on high alert, but finds him to be dancing between this world and the next.
Nothing outside registers as nothing around him does, and after a moment PJ picks up on the silence too, holding up his drawing to make them smile. William doesn't move.
In the distance Paris sits like a slab, and Jaclyn can just squint and make out the barest parts of the city. For a second she thinks that's where he's looking, lost in a vacuum, but his eyes through the watery reflection in the window are focused more upwards.
He's not trying to ignore them, but she can't figure out how to explain that to the kids when the words sting like acid on her tongue.
"Will," she whispers, slowly coasting her hand over his, waiting for him to return the hold. She doesn't rush him, simply watches his reflection blend with trees and houses while he closes his eyes and breathes in. Finally he squeezes her hand.
"That's a lovely picture, PJ." His smile when he faces the kids sitting across from them is excited and eager, but he's distant and reeling, hiding nervous hands under the table. When he turns to Mia he pauses, it's only a millisecond but Jaclyn sees it. The flash of awareness in his eyes.
"And yes, Mia, I'm okay." She nods, but tilts her head, eyes dancing to the corners while she looks him over with innocently fluttering eyelashes. It's a look that chills their bones.
Jaclyn stands, giving each of her kids a pointed look and hoping her abrupt movement isn't startling. "I need to speak to your father, but we're watching you." She pulls William up with sheer strength, but it's not like they have many places to go. The front of the cart is occupied by the staff and the back by the kids, so she settles for somewhere in the middle, and leans against one of the empty chairs.
