The Royal Scandal | Prince William |

She's Here With You

May 15, 2001

It was midnight.

Her academic finals were over she needed to rest, but Jaclyn knew her mind would not stop enough for her to sleep, so she wasn't giving it the option to think at all. She turned around the studio focusing only on how dizzy she was getting.

She never wanted to leave the safety of the studio.

Out there people thought scandalous things of her, they laughed because finally William was over her. Everyone seemed to celebrate her misery. The walls she had to put up to keep the world out were torn down as she moved around the room. There wasn't even music, but her surroundings had disappeared long ago, and music was leading her in her head.

The rational side of her knew how foolish she was being, her nerves extra alert, her stomach was constantly rolling waiting for someone else to hurt her. It was dramatic, and careless to worry so much that she got sick over everything, but she was so hurt she didn't know how to stop. For days now she had ate nothing but apples and nuts those being the only things she could keep down.

Her ankle almost gave out when she landed a leap, a clear sign it was time to stop. Ms. Lewis let her stay because she trusted her to lock up and leave at a decent time, but when she stopped she started to think too much.

Without movement it was:

You're not as good as they think, they know you're weak and because you're weak you'll fail. You'll never be a dancer, why would anyone want someone like you? William has realized you're nothing special, he's leaving you for someone better. And one day they'll all tire of your emotional state

Eventually her eyes grew heavy to match the weight of her aching body, and she spiralled to the floor finding comfort against the cool marley. That was how she was found early the next morning for third time in a row.

-----

I won't cry when you say goodbye
I'm out of tears
I won't die when you wave goodbye
I'm out of tears, out of tears

The stage lights burned their skin, but the three girls kept moving. They were synchronized spirits. Natania and Katie Marie latched onto Jaclyn's  arms before she tipped over. The words of the Rolling Stones song hit close to home, and she knew them so well she could sing them and not miss a beat.

I won't drink, I won't eat
I can't hear, I won't speak
Let it out, let it in
All this pain from within

It was pathetic really if she thought about it, there wasn't time to consider that for too long.

Jaclyn danced swiftly with the other two girls all of them executing the articulate movements cleanly. She felt just enough from her heart to perform, but not too much to become sloppy.

And I just can't pour my heart out to another living thing
I'm a whisper, I'm a shadow
But I'm standing up to sing

The dance ended Katie Marie being left on stage watching as Jaclyn and Natania walked away leaving her alone. In many ways it was symbolic for them. Nat and her would be leaving, and Katie would be stepping up into a more active role. She was talented and she had been put into a dance with the two third years to push her that extra bit. Glancing back at her stage presence Jaclyn would say it worked.

"Okay ladies, notes backstage." The three girls gathered around Ever. Their first Choreographer was a power house, but nearly as small as Natania. She wore the same black bandana over her head everyday along with those hard shoes that every dance teacher wore.