A/n OMFG I AM SO PROUD OF THIS ONE AND I ACTUALLY STARTED FUCKING CRYING WHILE WRITING THIS BUT LIKE YEAH...I FEEL LIKE THIS IS ACTUALLY WELL WRITTEN SO YEAH...
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It was finally your one year anniversary with Deena, and she wanted to make it as special as possible.
Which proved to be a lot harder considering you technically had to sneak out to see her. On your own anniversary you had to sneak out, which sucked a shit ton.
Deena wasn't pleased about it either, she knew that you had to do things a lot differently considering you were the sheriffs daughter but she still couldn't help the part of her that wished you weren't so afraid.
Afraid to be who you are, she loved who you were and she thought that if people knew the real you they would love you just as much.
That's what she had been trying to convince you all night, you both got a hotel room. You hadn't expected her to go all out for you, and you felt bad that she spent most of her money on the room.
You had gotten a room on the 14th floor, which was the top floor. Which also meant the perfect view of everything, perhaps that's why Deena picked the room.
"What are you thinking about?" You hear from behind you as you stood by the balcony. Turning your head a little you see Deena with a pair of your shorts and her shirt. "Nothing" you give her a quick smile, turning back around to look at the lights ahead.
Deena had decided to join you, walking towards your side and watching the lights, the many busy cars and the swaying trees ahead. You had both found yourselves in a peaceful silence.
"Thank you" you mumbled, you kept your gaze ahead as Deena turned to look at you. "For everything today, for dinner, for the old playground, and for this. Just everything" you continue.
Deena had not only rented a hotel room but she had also took you to your favorite restaurant. She even took you to the playground where you two had met, you both played around and despite your paranoia that something would jump out at the park you actually had fun. The clothes that you had to dump in the garbage proved that.
"You don't have to thank me for that Y/n you deserved it- we deserved it." She corrected placing her hand on your arm as you turned to face her.
With the way the moon reflected on your skin, Deena couldn't help but admire how beautiful you looked. She also couldn't deny how happy she was, the feeling that she got knowing she was here with You.
Those thoughts didn't last though as she leaned in to kiss you only to meet the skin of your cheek as you turned away.
She gave you a look of disbelief "I-I'm sorry" you stuttered out feeling immediately guilty. "Right" Deena scoffs turning ahead, drumming her fingers on the railing.
"I didn't mean to...I just-""you're just not ready?" She cuts you off looking at you. "Tell me Y/n when are you going to be ready. It's been a year!" She whisper yells, Deena knew how hard it was to finally be comfortable and be aware of who you were, but with you she wanted to be able to do things. Things that you weren't ready for, and even though she didn't want to push you she still wanted at least something from you. Even if it meant just being able to hold your hand in public.
"I don't know Deena! I don't fucking know" you yell back, running a hand through your hair in frustration. Deena let's our another scoff turning to walk away, you sniff aggressively wiping at your nose before grabbing her arm.
"I'm sorry for yelling, alright. And I'm sorry for not kissing you. Just please don't go" you plead with your eyes holding her gently.
She stares at you for a moment in contemplation before sighing. "I'm sorry" you muttered, in a tone barely audible but Deena had heard you loud and clear.
Dropping her arm you move back to the balcony, leaning against it with Deena in tow. "I'm sorry too" Deena responded. "No, this isn't on you Deena, this is me. I don't know what's wrong with me, but every time I kiss you or I touch you my dad's face just pops up in my head" you confessed, feeling tears well in your eyes.
"He never treats me like I'm good enough, he even told me once that I would never be able to fit the role of sheriff if I'm a women. Imagine what he'd say if he knew we were dating" you glanced over at Deena with tears falling down your eyes.
"I'm so fucking sorry that I'm a coward, because I want to be brave so bad. Deena, I want to be brave for you. It's just so hard." Your words had hit a soft spot for Deena, and without her noticing, she had a tear running down her face. Leaving a salty taste in her mouth, as she cried with you.
"Shhh it's okay" Deena reassures pulling you into her arms. "I know" she bites her lip holding back a sob. She could feel as your body started shaking slightly in her hold.
Her arms settled around your neck, as yours were placed around her lower back. She pulled away slightly, grabbing your face so you could look at her.
"It's okay, nothing is wrong with Y/n. I got those same feelings too, but that isn't a bad thing. Because One day we are going to walk outside, holding hands, and we're gonna make out and share burgers with each other and anyone who doesn't like it can go screw themselves." You laugh a little making her crack a smile.
"Alright? It's just me and you, those other people, and your stupid dad won't change that." She assures, wiping at your tears.
"I love you" she confessed, "I love you too" you whispered, feeling more emotional about the moment. Even though you and Deena had been together for a while, neither of you had said the L word. Only because you both felt like the word was used to loosely, and when you said it you wanted to actually mean it.
She leans in slightly giving you a small peck, noticing your now tense shoulders she pulled back. "Stop looking so nervous, no one can see us from up here" she assures tilting your head for her to get a better angle.
And against your better judgement you found yourself relaxing at her words. Giving her a small nod, as you relaxed your shoulders leaning towards her.
When your lips finally connect you couldn't help but to sigh into the kiss, feeling a sudden feeling of courage. This wasn't anything like your past kisses, this felt way different. It gave you a weird feeling in your stomach and it felt like you were gonna pass out. But you invited that feeling with open arms, as you found yourself exploring the newfound feeling more and more.
It seemed as though Deena was just as excited as you were, with her hands running through your hair slightly gripping it. Normally you would find it painful but since it was Deena you didn't really care. If anything you leaned more and more into her touch.
It's like you both had forgotten that you actually needed oxygen because you both were so engulfed in each other that you weren't even bothering to break away.
The scared feeling as if someone would see you just washed away completely, and in that moment you didn't care if your dad saw, you didn't care if the world saw. Because you were with Deena, and everything else didn't matter.
