Lovely Allergen

Chapter 56: To Take a Jump

Song Yu had never imagined hearing that last sentence.

His first reaction after hearing it was to think he was hallucinating: Yue Zhishi was only talking about his allergy and nothing else. After all, he truly wasn't himself tonight — he'd even wanted to die earlier when he was driving.

Song Yu had never given himself the opportunity to hope for Yue Zhishi to return his feelings. The world was so large — it was already so unlikely for two people to meet, and they'd even become family members who could be with each other for their entire lives.

What else could he ask for?

He approached Yue Zhishi with a very narrow view because of this fixed way of thinking; he kept thinking he was very pure and very innocent because he'd been brought up with such love and care. Song Yu would sometimes even lose sight of what Yue Zhishi had lost, thinking he must be happy.

The now grown up Yue Zhishi fell to pieces and cried in utter pain in front of him — it was the first time Song Yu had ever felt so lost, not knowing what to do.

The hand covering the back of Yue Zhishi's hand shifted unnaturally. It felt like a very anguished feeling kept transmitting through this connection, pouring into Song Yu's heart.

As expected, he truly was a failure as a rock. He looked so strong and stubborn on the outside, and yet his inner heart was an utter mess, soft and weak.

Song Yu touched Yue Zhishi's head, called out his nickname in a very soft voice and pulled him into his arms.

Yue Zhishi actually didn't want Song Yu to see him cry. He didn't want him to see such fragile parts of him, but he wasn't a mature adult. He had a limited threshold, and he could only bear it up to here.

He buried his face into Song Yu's shoulder, his tears mixing into the cotton fibres of Song Yu's jacket. Yue Zhishi felt much lighter after saying it out loud — he didn't expect much to begin with, so he didn't wait for a response. Song Yu had always treated him very well, and he probably wouldn't reject him as coldly and resolutely as he rejected other people. He was more likely to try to persuade him.

The aching from his sickness both clouded and cleared his mind, and all of the possible things Song Yu could say passed through his brain. He told himself he couldn't cry anymore. He honestly looked really ugly when he cried.

Song Yu's hand kept softly patting his back. It was only just a few years ago when Song Yu still hadn't known how to comfort him, when he'd had to personally grab his hand and tell him he needed to pat like that when comforting someone.

Yue Zhishi couldn't help but grow upset again. He thought again of what he'd just done and felt he had been too aggressive. It felt like he was always forcing Song Yu, again and again. He'd forced him to stay with him when it thundered, forced him to accept him staying behind and even forced him to admit he was his gege in front of everyone.

But now, after he'd smashed the relationship in between them so impulsively — how should Song Yu face him? How could they go back to how they were like before? He really didn't want to become one of Song Yu's burdens.

Yue Zhishi started to regret it again.

But Song Yu's embrace was truly too intoxicating. It was the most powerful hallucinogen in the world, and even if he knew best how many failed examples were ahead of him, even if he knew he'd definitely leave with bloody, dripping injuries after plunging straight in — he could still only smell the blood red and candied smell of roses.

Yue Zhishi didn't cry anymore. He acutely sensed the hesitation and indecisiveness in Song Yu's breathing, as if he was about to say something. He was very scared, and before he could be pushed away, he grabbed Song Yu's back.