chapter nineteen: the exposure/ before i close my eyes.

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14.8k words: a synopsis of acts: time-skip, subtle intimacy, detailed talks, unexpected events, trauma dumping, worry, reassurance, fluff, hazardous acts, consented trespassing, crying, atrocious texting, lewdness, a chain of unfortunate events, mentions of the past, mentions of neglect, mentions of many undisclosed topics. proceed with caution. mind errors; it's Monday. tw: Armin.

a/n: I may have dipped for a few months, but that's because sixth form is beating my ass. here's this chapter, since I want to really get the story moving — since I've almost finished it in my drafts. p.s: listen to before I go — xxxtentacion.

Three months had skimmed by and you had dismissed Eren with talks about the kiss that occurred. Though he yearned for you to allow the kiss to be discussed, you sought to amble around the topic, leaving him in a cluster of thoughts. Solely, you knew you had felt something during the kiss you experienced with him, ultimately leading to you being unfit to pursue intimacy without thinking about him.

A week after the kiss, you had allowed yourself to get intimate with Armin, only to think about all the characteristics and sounds Eren would potentially make — causing you to feel rather culpable. It had never been like that before. Moreover, to make it worse, you had almost mewled out Eren's name when you were eerily imminent to releasing, being reminded of when he held you around his abdomen, being delicate with all there was to you.

Safe to say, after that, you had ended the sessions, being guilty of the fact that you were unable to think of anyone, but him during intimacy. However, despite that, you were ignoring the truth in Eren's words, finding a lack of interest in intimacy. It wasn't that you were attempting to limit yourself within intimacy, but all you thought about was him, and all there was he had done to you.

You and Eren had grown closer in a few months, despite the kiss being something you avoided. Even as you did avoid it, a part of you didn't desire to ignore it, but it was your fear in action. Fear from allowing yourself to grow vulnerable to this degree, though he was evidently whipped for you, so quick to deny the fact that he was beginning to slowly like you. And, well, you were slowly beginning to fall for him, despite being afraid of pursuing love.

THE HILLS ; eren jaegerWhere stories live. Discover now