chapter twenty-seven: how to love?

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7.3k words: a synopsis of acts: time skip, mentions of suicide, death, uncomfortable talks, talks of overdosing, mental breakdowns, detailed depictions, events of the past, hospitals, crying, opening mental wounds, betrayal, ptsd, fighting, child abuse, attempted murder + potentially more. mind errors + vote!

a/n: the next chapter will be more lighthearted; they're gonna go wild. also, I'm sorry for this chapter. smut.

Softly, you stir in pain, your whole body aching. The aura within the environment heavily differs, gifting you the chance to display insincerity. A large part of you remains rather lost about what it was that had occurred. However, a small part of you is aware of what it was that had occurred.

Stupidly, you knew you had overdosed on the medication — one you had repetitively been prescribed. Due to the heavy anxiety, you had, along with the severe depression that failed to subside, you remained taking both. But you had been exceeding the limit, just so you were easily able to be granted more moments where you were able to feel the relief the medication gifted you.

It wasn't that you yearned to feel the passion towards drugs, you had once been granted, but your calm came from the medication you were taking. But the night before, after you had gotten heavily intimate with Eren, you found yourself unable to handle the messages you had been given.

A part of you yearns to curl up within a ball, to peel your presence from such a gruelling world. But you remain fighting yourself, in hopes of suppressing the thoughts and the hatred many wield against you.

Naturally, you recall lingering in the bathroom, the prescription drugs in your unpredictable hands as you readied yourself to consume more than advised. Though, you knew you were annihilating yourself slowly, manoeuvring the naive parts of you with unfulfilling thoughts.

It wasn't that you were so ardent towards drugs. Yet, you found yourself doubling the amount, swiftly after you had immersed in intimacy with Armin. Just knowing how dirty he made you feel made you vacate from your stable path of life. You felt animosity toward how he structured your feelings to conform to his sickening perspective.

THE HILLS ; eren jaegerWhere stories live. Discover now