He was a surge of lightning tearing through the night she owned, rattling her ground like thunder, challenging her strength, bewitching her to hold on tighter.
She was fire possessing the threat to silence his demons, wrecking his walls, shattering...
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I CAN'T BREATHE bea miller 0:00 ───|────── 0:00 ↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
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Azriel Logan refused to leave Nyx's mind for the rest of the day.
He lingered as she sat through all of her classes, he stayed while she worked her shift at the diner, and he remained when she pedaled back home. Even presently, while she sat in her room all by herself, he was persistent.
However, it wasn't just Azriel clouding her mind at the moment, no.
Nova and Nyx, a drifted pair of mother and daughter, were supposed to be home at the same time today. They had plans to have dinner together and then catch a movie later in the evening.
As much as she hated it, Nyx felt no surprise in her heart when she didn't see her mother's car in the driveway. A hesitant search through the house confirmed the girl's doubts that Nova wasn't here yet. Even though a big part of her felt hopeless for doing it, she decided to go up to her room and freshen up to get ready for an evening which she wasn't sure of being written in her books. She changed out of her day's sweaty clothes, slipping into fresh ones.
Nyx waited for her mother quietly, texted her even but didn't dare to call her. The last thing she wanted to do was annoy her.
After waiting over an hour for no one to show up, Nyx gave up, knowing that they were already missing the movie. With a heavy heart, she opened her messages once again to see if there were any texts from her mother, feeling a blow to her stomach when she saw none.
Her hand lingered over Azriel's contact, secretly hoping for something from him, but was left with another dead end.
Her phone hardly ever notified her of any calls or messages, but today was the only day where she wanted for it to buzz with at least one ding. Even if it was a rain check from Nova, it would've been enough.
But she got nothing.
It was another forty minutes later that Nyx tossed her cell phone away. As she sat on her bed, dressed for what should've been a night out with her mother, knees brought up to her chest and head tilted upward, she stared at her ceiling that held her favorite constellations.
Sadly, even her love for stars wasn't enough comfort today.
Nyx thought of how she'd asked for an early leave from the diner, earning a half-day and spending her break doing homework so that she would have nothing to worry about afterward.
Nova, on the other hand, had not only bailed coldly but hadn't even bothered to drop an apology or at least a 'won't be able to make it' sign to her daughter. She had only left the girl blindly doubting and hoping.
A few heartbeats of crazed silence later, Nyx let out an empty chuckle.
Her voice had never sounded so broken. Her stomach howled in pain when her wavered breaths turned into disturbing laughter that choked her soul, lacking any sort of joy.
She didn't realize how badly her eyes were stinging till the first drop of her tears fell, and from there on, they never stopped.
Nyx stood up from her bed, still trembling with the laughter of a maniac, and made her way over to the wall closest to her. Her legs shook, achingly unsteady, and so did her clouded vision.
Nothing was strong enough to stop her, though.
"Stupid," her voice was a whisper as she stared at the lifeless wall. "So pathetically gullible to think that she'd show up . . .that he'd want to be with me,"
Nyx brought her fisted hand up, uncaring to show it was shivering, and stretched her folded arm behind her head. Before she knew it, the girl had taken a throbbing hit at the wall, hearing the sickening sound of her skin breaking against it.
A jolt of numbing pain sent a chill of terrifying satisfaction through her veins, crawling all the way up to her head and webbing around her senses.
Using her other hand, she took another punch at the wall.
She kept going, not wanting to stop, lashing out everything that she'd been forcing within.
It was only when she couldn't feel even a prick of pain that she decided to step back, glazed eyes watery in horror as she traced the small and insignificant drops of crimson staining the midnight paint.
Right then and there, she gave out entirely.
Her body collapsed on the wooden floorboards where she found herself leaning against the door on her side for support, finding no will to hold herself up.
Nyx's knuckles were so terribly torn and bloodied, but she didn't care. No amount of ache without could compare to the writhing of her soul within.
She brought her knees up to her chest, caging them with her elbows. Her hands gripped her cinnamon hair, suffocating the silky locks by painfully tugging on them till she let out a strangled cry.
Nyx felt like she was being throttled because of how much of a struggle it was to even sob her heart out - it all hurt so bad, the feeling of everything coming crashing down at once.
As she sat on the floor, having lost her first battle ever, with blood on her hands and in her eyes, the nyctophile realized that the raven monster was right.
She was lonely.
Today, when she felt more alone than ever, she couldn't deny it.
