Broken but not lost

Chapter 1, BRIAR

"Pack your bags. We leave at first light." Our tribe leader announces. Groans and frustrated sighs come from all around the crumbling lobby.

"You think Banks just needs to get laid and then maybe he'll relax a bit on finding a new place?" Freya asks, raising a light eyebrow.

"First off, that's disgusting, I don't need a visual of a— well that." Neo nods his head back to the leader. "Second off, you have a point. This place is the nicest we've found in a while.. why not just stay here?"

"Because, dipshit, we're too close to the border. No matter how much I'd like to stay here, I know that's a bad idea. So do you." I respond, stating the obvious.

They both look at me and sigh with a shared look between each other.

"But Neo's right. Never say anything about Banks that involves intimacy. I don't need that on my mind." I finally get a laugh out of both of them while they go back to eating their long expired canned soup.

"Uhhh, Clay... Briar Clay. You're up for first watch." Banks shouts over the commotion of packing.

I sigh, tying the laces of my black boots and standing up. I give a middle-fingered salute to Freya and Neo which they both return, and turn to grab a gun and stand watch.

"Yo." Freya shouts before I can make it any further. I turn and she jogs up to me and hands me a can from her pack. "You didn't eat." She whispers. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. You know you get dizzy."

I shrug and roll my eyes. "I just haven't been hungry, okay? It happens to everyone." She opens her mouth but I turn and start walking away before she can say anything else. 

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I stand outside in the dim torchlight, practicing fighting with my knife. I jab over with the dagger in my right hand, tucking my left hand under swiping across with the hidden blade in my sleeve.

"Wow, Clay, if the air were an enemy, they'd be dead." Kai says with natural sarcasm, walking outside.

I roll my eyes and sheath my dagger, then draw the blade back into a hidden sheath in my dark sleeve.

"If you keep talking, maybe you'll be the air." I say in response.

"Damn! What's with the hostility, babe? Shouldn't that have been a compliment?"

"From you? I don't think so. Go back inside before I do something I'll regret." I don't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing my cheeks flare with anger, so I keep my gaze straight.

"Oh, are you that afraid you'll kiss me Briar? It's okay, I'm a lovable guy, it happens to everyone. Now if you catch feelings, that's a different story. But If you get on your knees for me again I might make an exception."

Before he can keep going, I throw my foot in the air, turning and kick him in the face. He falls to his hands and knees I pull my dagger out with a zing, grab his hair, and pick his head up, giving me access to his neck where I press my dagger.

Blood trickles from his nose as he pants. His gaze fixes on me, but I can't tell if it's anger or fear I see flickering in his eyes.

"Speak to me like that again..." I start, pushing my dagger ever so slightly against his skin. "And I'll kill you so fast, you won't even be able to scream."

I drop my knife, letting go of his head, he stumbles back while standing up. "Bitch..." he whispers as he wipes his nose. "You know this is why I did those things to you. You deserve them from how much of a bitch you are. And I'd do it again."

I breathe shakily, trying to contain myself from throwing my knife in his chest. I don't know why I haven't yet. After all he's done to me that's the least of what he deserves.

He turns away from me, walking back inside where his friends are waiting. "Her anger issues get the best of her too much." I hear him say when his friends surround him looking at his face and then to me.

"Oh, relax, I didn't even hit him that hard." I wave them off, continuing to keep watch.

After hours of sitting alone, the camp finally sleeps and I find myself being the only one awake on this side of the building.

I stand back up, pacing back and forth as I play with the dagger, expertly twirling it in my hands, throwing it up and catching it by the hilt.

Suddenly getting dizzy, I close my eyes and bend over my knees, trying to stay awake.

My breathing deepens as I try and calm myself, praying to God that I don't pass out and find myself in Kai's wicked hands again.

I slap my cheek, gently at first and then a little harder when my eyes keep threatening to close.

"Fuck Briar, wake up." I mutter to myself, hitting the side of my head with the heel of my hand.

I shake myself off, standing straight again and continuing my knife flips like I can still see.

I can't.

All I see are dark spots except for the center of my vision which is just a blur.

A figure walks towards me and I try to stand my ground, stumbling slightly as I do.