Broken but not lost

Chapter 34, BRIAR

"Are you okay, love?" Flynn softly asks as he unties my wrists from the bed.

"No." I complain. "You didn't let me finish once."

He laughs as he finished untying my other hand and gently brushes my hair out of my face. "You did say to be rougher." He states.

I purse my lips, "I wasn't intending on you edging me the whole time when I said that, to be fair."

He leans in and kisses my lips, once, twice, before resting his hand on my cheek and brushing my cheekbone, admiring my face.

His eyes roam my face. "I like your freckles." He says simply.

"I like your eyes." I counter. He keeps looking at me with a stupid smile on his lips, his eyes not once leaving my face, not once looking down at my body. "Just kiss me." I say, resting my own hand on his cheek.

He leans in and kisses me softly, beginning to trace my arms, my back, my stomach with his fingers. My hands find his hair and I grab onto it, fisting it in my hand and running it through my fingers.

The once soft kiss turning into something more, something deeper. Our breathing begins to match and our hearts race together as we pull each other closer.

He starts kissing down my jaw as I wrap my arms around his head, moaning softly.

I hold him close, wrapping my legs around his waist and holding him tightly as I sit between his legs. It takes all of my strength not to unbutton his pants as I tug him closer and he kisses me harder.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous." He mumbles against my skin as he starts to suck on it.

God, I love him.

Shit.

Fuck.

No, no, no.

I pull away from him, moving backwards on the bed and standing, collecting my clothes from the floor as panic sets in.

I begin rushing around the room, frustrated at the loss of my shirt. Tears sting my eyes and blur my vision. My throat closes as I look around the room.

Flynn is already standing, taking the clothes from my hands then putting my hands in his own.

I'm shaking so uncontrollably.

I can't love him.

"Flynn— Flynn I can't. I can't I can't I can't." I repeat, each word a sob as I continue looking at the ground.

"Briar, what's happening? Talk to me, love." He says, his words are small, gentle. He brings our hands up to my face.

I try and back away, pulling against his grip but he holds firm, yet still careful not to hurt me.

"Let me go please." I say, my voice breaking. "Please. Please let me go." I repeat again, not looking him in the eyes.

I know he doesn't want to, he hesitates in doing so, but he releases my wrists and I pull them to my chest.

I gather up my clothes again, putting them on, not bothering to look for my shirt again as I exit the bedroom.

I know he follows close behind, not only just by his steps but I hear his muffled words echo in my ears. I barely hear him.

I can't love him.

Weak.

Afraid.

You weren't meant to love anyone.

And you'll regret doing so.

That stupid voice tells me every day.

If I love him I'll regret it.