Broken but not lost

Chapter 19, BRIAR

He kisses me harder than he did the first time. More passionately.

I wrap my arms around his neck and run my fingers through his hair. He groans into the kiss when I bite his lip, and lowers his hands from my waist to my thighs, giving them a squeeze.

Without thinking, I hop up and wrap my legs around his waist and hold him closer - if we could get closer than we already were.

"Fuck, Briar." He breathes when we disconnect our lips for just a moment.

I moan when he grabs my ass and pushes me against his growing length.

Fuck, I want him so bad. Every part of him.

I hop down, keeping the kiss, and begin undoing his belt, but I'm stopped by Flynn grabbing my wrists, breaking our kiss.

I look up at him in confusion and he answers my unasked question.

"Not here. Not yet. First, maybe somewhere safe." He pauses and looks around at the dry, empty place we're in, not too far from the border. "And second, when you're ready to take every. Inch. Of me." He whispers and speaks seriously. Every inch?... how big is he...? I can feel the heat creeping up my cheeks. "And third, I want it to be more special than this." He places a kiss on my forehead and takes one of my hands in his and continues walking.

God fucking damnit.

<><>

"How close do you think we are?" I ask, putting my hand up to try and block out the midday sun.

"Probably too far for your liking but maybe a day or two more if we keep moving today and we can probably see them soon." He rests his hands on his hips and scans the area.

"It's so empty." I say.

"Better than being shot at." He shrugs and I grin slightly.

"Well. If we're still far enough, then let's get a move on, shall we?" I bow dramatically and motion for him to lead the way, but he grabs my forearms and makes me stand straight.

"Not so fast. You need to eat." He lifts the bag and rifle over my head, off my shoulder, and grabs a pack of crackers.

I roll my eyes. "Still not hungry, Flynn. Just take my share, I'll be fine." I shrug and shove his outstretched hand back towards him.

He opens the packet then gently takes one of my wrists in his, then the other with the same hand. And then, of course, he grabs them tight enough to where I can't escape unless I was interested in kneeing him in the groin.

I'm not. Not yet.

He skillfully takes one cracker out of the packet with his free hand and holds it up to my mouth. "Eat." He says sternly but also in a gentle tone.

"Not. Hungry." I say again, now I'm interested.

I attempt to bring my knee up, but he drops the crackers fast and catches my thigh even faster. I didn't even have time to react before I was, once again, pinned to the ground in one swift motion.

He keeps my hands on my stomach instead of above my head this time, he knows neither of our gunshot wounds could take the strain. He pushes them into my stomach, his grasp on my wrists loosening until his hand is flat, pressing against my abdomen.

I let out a small whimper as he lowers his hand, trailing down to my pants. Sadly he doesn't slip his hand in them. My hands are free. I could flip us over, pin him, but I don't want him to stop.

Of course, he knew exactly what I wanted, so he stopped, just above my core.

"Not yet. Maybe if you eat I'll give you what you want." He smirks.

I groan frustratedly and push his shoulders off of me. He laughs a bit before standing and offering me a hand.

I rudely reject it and stand on my own. "I'll eat later." I take my bag and rifle off the ground, put them back over my head and start walking.

I might not even be going the right direction but I'm angry enough I don't really care.

I hear him huff a laugh and start following behind.

Ha. So I am going the right way.

<><>

"Are you really still mad at me for wanting you to eat and not pass out on me?" Flynn says from behind me.

"No. I just want to make you mad." I turn around, walking backwards and smirk at him. He sucks his teeth and looks down, shaking his head. "Did it work?"

"Ohh yeah, it definitely worked." He answers quickly, making me toss my head back and laugh. "No but really, you— your smile is... perfect." He pauses, looking for the right words.

I can't tell if I want to roll my eyes or kiss him.

Both maybe?

I stop in my tracks and he stops once he's inches away from me. I grab his chin with one hand and stand on my toes to reach his perfect lips.

This kiss is softer than the others. But just as lovely.

He makes a low sound that makes my core tingle. He places a large hand on my cheek, stroking my cheekbone with his thumb.

We stop after a too short amount of time, breathless. I keep my hand on his face and look down, resting my forehead against his chin. He moves it down an inch and kisses it and just stays there a moment longer.

I sigh. "I..." I have to search for the right words. "I am afraid to love you. I'm afraid of loving you and losing you because I know I- I couldn't take that again. My heart can't take that again." I look up at him with solemn eyes and he's just staring at me lovingly. Listening to every word I speak. "But... you're making it fucking impossible for me not to feel something for you." A tear slips down my cheek and he wipes it away with his thumb. "Because as much as I don't want to; I do."

He kisses my nose, making me smile. "Fear is something we all have. Fear is something to be scared of... or; to be brave enough to stand up to it. Being afraid is a part of living. Accept it. Walk through it. And forget you had fear to begin with. Or, live in fear - live in anger - even longer than you already have. What do you choose, love?"

How does he always know what to say.

"You." I say in a small whisper.

His face softens as soon as the word leave my lips, and he kisses me once again.

"I choose you." I say again in between a kiss. I feel him smile into it and I wrap my arms around his neck.

"Good. Because I was going to keep trying until you did."