Broken but not lost

<3 Chapter 30, BRIAR <3

"Hesitated my ass." I mumble, kicking stones as I walk to find somewhere to pee.

"Being too horny and breathless to talk does not mean I hesitated." I continue to talk to myself as if I were arguing with Flynn, since I know he wouldn't appreciate more attitude from me.

Maybe he would, I don't know anymore, kinky son of a bitch.

I laugh at my own thoughts, coming to a sneaky idea.

Not really sneaky because he'll catch on quickly, but it's still worth a shot, I just have to wait until tonight.

I stop after finding a good place to relieve myself, once I finish, I start back to the motel, slower than before, caught in my own thoughts.

Having to ask myself the question over and over does make it seem like I might back out but... am I ready? To have sex again?

I mean, Kai didn't really do anything, I guess, but it still felt like the attack one should never have to worry about. Especially in times like these.

All my thoughts go back to that night where I practically fought for my life.

I regret not listening to Flynn.

I regret not killing Kai that first day he hurt me like that.

Or the second.

I'm glad I got some sort of revenge on him, but Flynn was the one who did it, who really killed him.

I know he regrets not letting me do it, he's said it before, that he should've handed me the knife, but I know he didn't want Kai to live a minute longer after seeing me in that state.

Fuck, every time I close my eyes I still see the son of a bitch.

I won't let anyone hurt me like that again.

Ever.

I was broken long before Kai laid a hand on me, at least now he's dead and I'm not lost. Not anymore.

Because of Flynn.

I smiled just at the simple thought of him, the thought that he'd do anything to protect me, that he already has.

I think about his smile, his eyes, his hair, his touch.

I feel his hands roaming along my body, touching the most intimate spots.

Fuck, you're kidding right? I'm wet at the fucking thought of him.

Okay, on the other hand, maybe I am ready to have sex with him again. To touch him, please him.

God, do I have ideas for tonight.

<><>

It was finally fucking nightfall, finally long enough for him to think I forgot about earlier since he knows how bad my memory is.

Although, he may have forgotten too.

He's been acting odd since I came back.

Okay, Briar, no hesitating.

"Are you okay, love?" He asks, disrupting my thoughts.

"Fine, yeah." I smile. "Honestly just reminiscing on the boar."

"Are you hungry? We have more, I can—"

"Flynn." I interrupt him. He inhales sharply.

Why does he look so nervous?

"Are you okay?" I ask, standing and walking up to him, placing my hands on his chest.

He nods frantically, grabbing my hips. "Fine, yeah." He copies my response.