Nova Black is a 20 year old that was infected with a parasite. Nick Fury found out about her and called her in for the Avengers.
What happens when she meets Natasha Romanoff?
Will her past catch up with her?
Avengers: Assemble - ✅
Captain America: T...
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- "Just don't actually fuck the bullet hole in Francis' head." -
Wade went to knock on the door of the X-Men mansion while Nova bounced an the balls of her feet next to him, impatient. Negasonic pulled open the door before Wade could even knock.
"Ripley, from Alien 3!" Wade exclaimed.
"Fuck, you're old." Negasonic replied flatly.
"Ha! Fake laugh. Hiding real pain." Wade mumbled. "Go get silver balls."
"You guys going for a bite? Early bird special?" Negasonic responded, squinting her eyes at the duo.
"Oh, like there's something wrong with eating before sundown or saving money." Wade stated.
"Yeah, what do you have against poorer people." Nova raised an eyebrow. "Discrimination."
"No, you know that bad guy that you let go?" Wade continued. "He's got our girls. You're gonna help us get them back."
"Wade, Nova, is that you?" Colossus called.
"How'd he know my name?" Nova whispered to Wade.
"Don't blame me, blame the raging bisexual. Looking at you Thick Thighs." Wade winked at the air.
"What the fuck is going on?" Nova muttered.
"Yeah, it's us, Deadpool and Venom, and we got an offer that you can't refuse. We're gonna wait out here, okay?" Wade asked Negasonic while Nova was checking behind a bush to see if someone was there with a camera. "It's a big house. It's funny that I only ever see two of you. It's almost like the studio couldn't afford another X-Man."
Soon, Colossus came out and they all clambered into Dopinder's taxi, Wade in the front with an angry Nova on his lap as they looked through their duffel bag of guns and knives while Colossus and Negasonic were in the back, the metal man taking up most of the room, hence why Nova was on Wade's lap.
"I swear, if I feel something poking me, Sugar Tits, I'll chop it off." Nova grumbled as Wade moved slightly.
"Don't worry, Sweet Cheeks. I'll try and keep little Wade at bay. Or should I say big Wade." Wade smirked and Nova just chuckled, slapping him around the head.
"Probably little." Nova nodded.
Wade then started a very lengthy explanation about a film called Cocoon.
"And that is why, in my opinion, the movie Cocoon is pure pornography." Wade finished.
"Who brought this twinkly man?" Dopinder asked in a quiet voice, referring to Colossus.
"Twinkly, but deadly. My chrome-penised friend back there has agreed to do me this solid. In exchange, I said that I would consider joining his boy band." Wade sighed.
"It's not boy band." Colossus argued.
"Sure it's not." Wade mumbled sarcastically.
"It is, I can almost hear Best Song Ever coming from your twinkly arsehole." Nova grunted, pulling the safety back on one of her guns and Wade sighed loudly.
"So, any luck winning Gita back?" He asked Dopinder.
"Ooh, yeah, how's that going?" Nova questioned, intrigued.
"I tried to hold on tight, Mr. Pool, Miss. Venom, but Bandhu is more craftier and handsomer than me." Dopinder replied, sadly.
"Well, I think you're pretty darn cute." Wade smiled.
"Yeah, I agree with the red body condom." Nova hummed.
The taxi ran over a pot hole and a scream sounded in the boot of the car. Dopinder grimaced slightly as everyone went completely silent, Wade and Nova looking at one another.
"Dopinder." Wade stated.
"Hmm?" Dopinder hummed.
"What was that?" Wade quizzed, looking away from Nova as the two turned to the driver.
"Uh..." Dopinder trailed off. "That was Bandhu in-in the trunk."
"Ban who?" Colossus questioned, sipping on a milkshake, which confused Nova greatly because he's made of metal.
"My romantic rival Bandhu." Dopinder answered, everyones attention on him. "He's tied up in the trunk. I'm doing as you two said, DP, V. I plan to guy him like a tandoori fish then his carcass on Gita's doorstep."
"We did not tell him to do that!" Wade and Nova yelled, pointing at Colossus.
"Can't tell if it kinda romantic in a way." Nova mumbled.
"It definitely is." Wade whispered with a firm nod before turning back to Colossus who was staring at them disapprovingly. "Absolutely it. It got lost in translation. Dopinder, this is no way to win Gita's heart back! We're so proud of you." Wade dropped his voice to a whisper. "Drop Bandhu off, safe and gentle-like. Kill him. And then, win Gita back, the old fashioned way: with your boyish charm. Kidnap her."
"I don't agree with the last one." Nova shook her head and Wade gaped at her.
"We can't be best friends." He shook his head.
"Wha... What 'bout our rolly chair war at IKEA and our haunted Segway tour." Nova pouted.
"Oh, I can't say no to those eyes! You should get a mullet!" Wade suddenly exclaimed. "Maybe that would help your cover! You could dye it, too!"
"Whoa!" Dopinder muttered as they pulled up at the tip where Francis was. "I presume a crisp high five?"
"For you? 10." Wade grinned, giving him a high ten and then Nova did as well. "Okay, guys let's get out there and make a difference." And then dropped his voice to a whisper again. "You know what to do."
"Knock 'em dead, Pool Boy, Vee Vee!" Dopinder yelled as Nova climbed off Wade's lap and the two got out.
"Time to make the chimi-fuckin'-changas." Wade said, rubbing his hands together.
"Just don't actually fuck the bullet hole in Francis' head." Nova stated firmly.
"Where's the fun in that?" Wade pouted.
"You can shag your girlfriend without getting blood on your dick." Nova shrugged and Wade hummed. "Unless you like blood but that wouldn't surprise me."
"As if you don't." Wade snorted. "You and your weird tentacle sex."
