Can't Help Falling in Love

51

Meredith sighed as she walked into her apartment three weeks later, her body dragging after a long day at school. Meg had come to her classroom with tears in her eyes and a million questions about heaven, and she was just trying to hold herself together as she tried to comfort Emma, take care of a deceivingly fine Derek, manage a classroom, and answer all of Meg's questions about death and heaven.

"Hey Mer," Derek called cheerfully from the kitchen. "Dinner's almost ready."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she dropped her bag on the ground and threw her coat over the back of the couch before she moved into the kitchen where Derek was standing over the stove. "Hi," she said.

"How was your day?" Derek smiled as he leaned over to kiss her gently. "I missed you."

"Hard," Meredith sighed. "Meg was coming to me with all kinds of questions. Apparently with Kath on bed rest, she doesn't have the energy to answer all these inquiries."

Derek sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "I should get over there," he sighed. "She's not handling this well."

"Hmm," Meredith nodded, pouring a glass of wine and looking at it carefully. "I think she's handling it better than her uncle."

"That's ridiculous," Derek said. "I understand death."

"No one understands death," Meredith argued. "And at least she's admitting that something happened."

"I know something happened," Derek said. "My dad died. I'm fine, Mer."

"No you're not," she said. "You're pretending you're fine."

"Why is this so hard for you to believe?" Derek asked. "It sucks, but I'm fine."

Meredith examined him closely for a moment before she shook her head and sighed. "Whatever," she said, hopping off the counter. "I'm going to change."

"Fine," Derek sighed, turning back to the stove.

"Derek," she said as she turned back to look in the kitchen. "I know you're not fine. You're grieving your own way, and that's totally okay. But eventually, you're going to realize that you're not fine. And just so you know, I'm not running. I'll be here to take care of you when you finally realize that it's okay for you to be sad. I'm not running. I promise."

She smiled sadly at him for a moment before she retreated into their bedroom, reaching for her leggings and one of his t-shirts that she had somehow taken possession of. As she was splashing some water on her face, she heard Derek come into the bedroom and felt him staring at her before she stood and faced him, her eyes wide and worried.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Derek said evenly. "My father just died, and now I'm the man of the house. My mother is completely broken, my sister is on bed rest because she's so traumatized, and the rest of my family is depending on me. I have to make sure that my mother is taken care of, that my baby sisters have their education paid for, and that dad's store is sold properly. During all of this, I have to study for my intern exams and work, not to mention this damn wedding that you're obsessed with. So I have to be strong. I have to take care of my family, not like that's something you understand."

Meredith flinched visibly, trying to remind herself that this wasn't her fiancé talking. Derek was in there somewhere, but it wasn't him who was talking to her right now. She took a deep breath before she faced him eye to eye, trying to fight off the tears that were building in her eyes. "You're right," she said softly. "Maybe I don't understand family. But if there is one thing I understand, it's you. And sooner or later you're going to snap. I hate that you have to go through this, Derek, I do. But I'd rather see you deal with this now than a week before your intern test or the morning of our wedding. Maybe that's selfish, I don't know. But I want you, Derek. Not this weird pod person that's trying to be strong for everyone. He was your father, Derek. You looked up to the man for your entire life, no one expects you to be fine."