| what is love to you?
tw: mentions of suicide
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"xiaoting?" xiaoting opened her eyes, looking up from where her head was placed to see her girlfriend looking on her. xiaoting was cuddled up with y/n, her head buried on the latter's chest, xiaoting was tired, after coming back from idol activities, she wanted sleep, a rest beside her girlfriend.
although there was hesitance lighting up in y/n's heart, she doesn't know if this was xiaoting or the xiaoting she knew, cuddled up on her and sleeping heavily. it seems like xiaoting didn't want to wake up yet, instead of answering the faint call from her girlfriend, xiaoting sighed and nuzzled back to y/n's chest.
y/n's right arm was wrapped around xiaoting's shoulder while the other one was patting and playing with xiaoting's hair.
"how was work?" y/n asked, even though she was sure that xiaoting isn't probably paying attention or listening to her.
it's been a month since they last saw each other, y/n was busy with her university activities as she studies law, meanwhile xiaoting's been gone due to her idol work— in conclusion they really don't have any time to give to each other, they were so busy, almost like they only see each other once in a blue moon. it hurts yeah, but it was the reality given by the harsh fact that the career they chose needed time and effort.
y/n wonders, in all those times they couldn't see, touch, hear or be with each other, does xiaoting think of her? or was she busy with other people? even so, y/n might not say it or admit it, but the fact xiaoting came back to her again, makes her happy, and the fact xiaoting may not come back again scares her.
does she think of other people too? talk with other pretty girls? flirt with other girls? y/n wouldn't know, because behind the screen where she watches xiaoting away for over a mile or two, she doesn't know what's on her head, heart or what she feels.
was xiaoting ever vocal about those? no she was never, but y/n wished xiaoting was, it's hard having to stare at her and ponder about how she feels, did y/n did something wrong? is there something she needed to fix?
y/n doesn't understand.
was she being a bad girlfriend? why can't xiaoting just speak up about it?
but initiating a conversation with a tired xiaoting was harder, she looked so down, looking like she doesn't even get enough sleep.
y/n wonders, if everything was normal, would this be happening to them, would their relationship be drag to the edge?
i hope xiaoting knows how much y/n worries about it everyday and night.
carrying the burden of multiple responsibilities and multiple regrets and guilt.
xiaoting shifted a bit, before pouting and looking up once again to y/n. "i'm tired, super, dealing with people is so tiring." xiaoting groaned, hands gripping y/n's waist as she adjusted her position to feel more warmth.
"sorry i couldn't watch over you—" suddenly the weight brought by xiaoting's body was gone and y/n sees xiaoting rising up from where she was before, dragging her body at the same position as y/n, leaning in and burying her face in the crook of y/n's neck.
"i miss you." xiaoting murmured, tickling y/n, her weight felt like feathers as she laid on top of y/n, hands intertwining with y/n's. y/n giggles, purring like a cat. "me too."
.......
"wow this beach looks so nice." y/n sighed as she saw the heavenly view in front of her, the sky is bright blue, clouds are whole and looks fluffy, the sea is so clear, the sand is as perfect than y/n thought it would be everything was so beautiful, it was also very sunny.
