| on a good note
note: we are all sad
"i... finally said yes to her!" y/n looked at her friends with a smile, hands clasped together while she spoke, her breathing was not steady, nervous as she had prepared for this her whole week. there's this girl around her school who she liked for quite a long time, a classmate to be exact, they've talked for a while and clicked together more than they expected and after a few months of getting to know— y/n found courage to say yes.
everyone was happy for her, really the girls cheered as they surrounded her in a cafe near y/n and minji's school, after a long time of planning this meet up and after they've failed a lot of times too, they finally were able to see each other again complete as a group after almost one year of being away from each other.
haerin watched as danielle and hanni hugged y/n, she say beside minji who smiled at the three and to hyein who stood up from her seat and jumped a few times. haerin lets out a flat smile with her lips, eyes watching every turn in y/n's expression ever since they got inside the cafe.
she looks genuinely happy.
that's good.
it's been a long time since haerin has last seen y/n, after middle school, haerin studied on a different school for her first year in high school, a school from another city which was quite far away. hanni and danielle were from the same school too and hyein was on another school near danielle and hanni. minji and y/n are also from the same campus. being the farthest from the group made haerin have lesser chances to meet them and they weren't always complete when they try to hang-out.
sometimes, hyein isn't allowed, sometimes danielle.
but haerin has always been absent due to her schedule being different.
that was a blessing though, it may seem like haerin was being a distant friend, dismissive but... she couldn't handle hearing y/n talk about all these romances thing going on for her, either when she meets a boy or a girl.
it's not like she doesn't care, she does and that's the worst part.
haerin knows it's her own fault, four years of being close to each other and she didn't try and utter out any word to tell y/n what she felt for the girl?
it's her fault yeah.
that haerin would rather play cupid or wingman to get y/n close to whoever her crushes was than make a move, that she'd rather fake out a smile when y/n seems happier with other people whom haerin knows will just treat her bad.
even if someone tells haerin how much she's wasted a lot because of that, she knew it wouldn't change a thing, she can't go back in time just to tell y/n how she felt because it will end the same, she'd probably just turn her back towards y/n and walk away like a little coward she is.
it's the fact that they were friends, they had the same mutual friends and haerin could cut herself off from y/n's life if y/n ever rejected her but that's not the case.
they had friends around them that made it hard for haerin to let go. she can't slip up, say the wrong word and then hide— potentially making things awkward for all of them.
so in the span of four years she had to endure that pain that she dismissed every single time, pushing herself aside whenever she can and brushing her feelings away when it comes back and then bothers her until she's wide awake at night thinking of everything. she has denied those feelings for a long time, choosing to keep herself thinking that these feelings will not last and will not matter until it did.
she turned sixteen and looked at herself on the mirror only to see a reflection of some pathetic girl living off of lies and rejections.
those sharp eyes similar to a cat's watched from a far, her dainty hands that pushed away people who she knew cared for her.
