homegrown 》v. hacker

Matching Tats

I had carried Max to the car and I drove in silence.

I had carried Max up the stairs in silence.

I faced everyone's wrath in silence.

I retreated to my room in silence.

I held Max close to me in silence.

She was the only thing I needed right now.

Max

I had never known something more powerful than silence. It was something that consumed all of us. Except it was never silent in my life. I will always remember the loud childhood. My parents singing in the kitchen, Drew going on and on about science, dogs barking in the distance, kids laughing as I tossed and turned in bed.

The only silence I've ever known was when my mother was in her bed fighting for her life. Her chemo made her sensitive and my dad was too protective to let us speak in anything but a whisper around us, even when she was awake. So we didn't both to speak.

Silence has never been a part of me since. I won't allow it. Silence eats people away. Numbs the brain.

Comfortable silence is never comfortable or truly silent. A fan whirring works. A computer updating always takes away the edge. All I could hear was him breathing. I focused on his inhales and exhales to get through the hangover. It was a pain more than anything I'd ever experienced.

When I finally forced myself to open my eyes I found Bear licking his paws. I reached out and scratched him behind the ears.

"You're awake." I glanced over the the doorway and saw Vinnie holding a bowl of soup and his phone.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry." I started tearing up and Vinnie melted. He put his bowl down and tossed his phone onto the table before sitting on the bed with me. He sat me up and tried to comfort me. It wasn't working.

"I had a beer to take off the edge and then a shot and then I spiraled after cup pong. I never wanted to get drunk. I just wanted to relax. I ruined everything."

"Max you did nothing wrong. You didn't destroy anything, you didn't post anything, you just crashed."

"But the plan."

"Fuck the plan. Michael was shaking after he realized he was the last you see you." Vinnie tried to laugh and I sighed.

"I just think that I was irresponsible. I should've stopped. I could've stopped."

"You could've and it's okay that you didn't. You've learned from your mistakes."

"You can say that again."

"Are you hungry? Want a bath? Movie?"

"What happened Vinnie? How long was a gone?"

Vinnie sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "You went missing and we hoped you would turn up by the end of the party. Everyone cleared out after the last of the alcohol was gone and we waited for you to show up. When you didn't everyone kinda got agitated. I said some thing I shouldn't have and it was just me and Bryce left. I kicked down the door and when I saw you there. Just laying there." Vinnie let out a shaky breath. "Please don't ever scare me like that again."