Mafia Imagines

13 - Pick up Lines

Imagine...

"Babe."

"Yes?"

"Are you google?" A confused look passes across his face, as he stares at you, bewildered, taking in your upside down form on the bed.

"No?"

"Well, you're everything I've been looking for!" You smile as your face grows redder and redder, from the amount of blood rushing to your face. 

"Kitten-"

"Are you French?" He rolls his eyes at your childishness.

"For a matter of fact, yes-"

"Because Eiffel for you!" You squeal in laughter, clutching your phone.

"Oh for christ sake-" He shakes his head, before going back to typing  into his phone, his voice is irritated, but the small smile that dances across his lips gives away his true feelings.

"We should never play hide and seek-" You begin, shifting your body onto the wooden floor boards with a thump, causing a concerned Y/BF/N to put his phone on the bedside table, rolling over to you. 

"why not?"

"Because people like you are impossible to find!" You reply, opening your phone and scrolling down on the webpage you're reading as your boyfriend groans.

"What website are you using?"

"1000 best pick up lines," You reply shooting him a evil grin.

~~~~

"Damn I gotta send an email to spotify-" You say, as you press shuffle on your playlist in the car, as a random song comes on, and you start bopping your head to the beat.

"What? Why? Did they do something? We can sue them-" 

"Cause they didn't put you as this weeks hottest single!" You cut him off, grinning manically, as your poor boyfriend sighs.

"We're DATING. That means we're TOGETHER. That means I'm NOT single," He states, dumbing it down for you, as he rolls his eyes at your silliness.

"Are you a parking ticket?"

"...because i'm so expensive?" He guesses, placing his hand on the back of your seat as he reverses out of the parking spot.

"Because you have FINE written all over you." You smile sweetly at him, as he rolls his eyes again.

"Thanks, Kitten."

~~~

"Do you have a name?" You grab his muscular arm, as he turns to look at you, sighing as he looks back at the food items in front of him.

"Yes- y/bf/n" He replies, as he grabs a random can of crushed tomatoes, placing it in the shopping cart, before grabbing three more of the same can.

"Shame- I was gonna call you mine," You reply smoothly, mentally high-fiving yourself for the amazing comeback(and for once it wasn't as you were recreating the scenario in the shower- gosh, your shampoo bottle will be proud.) 

"I mean- you can if you want to," He chuckles softly, as you open your phone, tapping in your password, before scrolling down through the website.

"You're STILL on that website?"

"My friends call me Y/N but you can call me anything you want~" You wink obnoxiously, causing him to laugh more.

"Oh, I already do, kitten~"

~~~~~~~

Y/BF/N walks out of the change room in a fitted black suit, which hugged all his muscles, as your eyes rake slowly over his body, admiring the Dorito shaped man in front of you.

"Damn baby- I hope you know CPR cause you just took my breath away!" You exclaim, holding a hand to your chest dramatically, as he laughs, a smile adorning your face as he makes eye contact with you in the mirror.

"You know, they might ask you to leave soon-" He gesutures around the expensive store, filled with an assortment of dress and suits of every style and colour known to man, as you look at him, your head tilted in confusion as you think about his words- had you done something mean? "You're making all the other women here look bad." 

You gasp dramatically. "Oh boy, you just signed up for war!"

~~~

"I was wondering," Y/BF/N comes up from behind you, gently kissing your shoulder as you stir the cheesy pasta in the pot, a smile coming across your lips at the sweet sign of affection. "Are you an artist?" You pause your circular movements, as you pause to think about his words.

"Um-"

"'Cause you're really drawing me in!" You snort, rolling your eyes at the ridiculous attempt at a pickup line, as you go back to stirring your delicious food.

"Mine are better." You stubbornly state, as he presses little kisses across your shoulder and neck.

"Sure they are kitten, sure they are."

~~~~~

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'u' and 'i' together," You blurt out, as you brush your teeth, smiling with a mouth full of blue foam, which slide down your chin, as y/bf/n spat out his already finished toothpaste.

"I'd like to take you to the movies sometime but..." He pauses dramatically, as you look at him confused, wiping the foaming liquid off of your chin, spitting the rest of it out and begin rinsing your tooth brush under the flowing water.

"But?"

"They don't let you take your own snacks." You gasp, turning to him as you point at hi, trying to form coherent words.

" I want to treat you like my pinky toe- banging you on everything in my house." You shake your head as you rinse out your toothpaste, walking out of your shared ensuite.

"I've got the buns, do you have the sausage?" You say winking at him.

He went slient unable to think of another pickup line.

"I think I won."

"How about I congratulate you with a mathematics equation: you + me  -  clothes + bed."

Okay, maybe he won- but either way, you were glad he treated you to a prize of winners.

---------------------

Written: 01/November/2021

Sooooo- what do we think of this?

I think it's funny- I really wish i had someone to say these too!

Reminder that I am taking requests!!

- Outcastkido