Euphoria-Regulus Black

Chapter 29

Dear Regulus,
My mother and I aren't fighting anymore. It's finally taken care of. Alistair isn't my biological father but he's my dad. He's the one who was there for me through everything. He'll always be my father to me. Nothing will ever change that. My mother explained what kind of man my sperm donor was. If the dictionary had pictures his would be in place of trash. He was a vile, disgusting human who thankfully is long dead. I'd have to kill myself if I were ever to grow up with him.

I'm so sorry to hear how tense your first day back with your family was. And that you're mom interrogated you about me. Maybe we can pretend that I'm a pureblood bigot like her. If it comes to that. I'd rather not be forced to though. Sounds like she'd be a slag for the dark lord. And how do you feel about meeting him? I'm sorry I can't be there with you, even if it were to just support you. I'm terrified of you meeting him and him somehow destroying the real you.

On the topic of meeting terrifying people, what do you think about meeting my mum.
Love, Sutton

Regulus paled as his eyes scanned his girlfriends reply. She wanted him to meet her mother. And of course this letter came on the day he'd be forced to meet Voldemort. He'd spent days in Slytherin learning from Severus. Apparently, it was very wise to know how to block your mind when meeting the dark lord. Mostly because it seemed that he always knew what you were thinking. Regulus glanced at the neatly place suit that was crisp and freshly ironed by Kreature. It was a simple black suit with a black button up and a dark green tie. His shoes were placed on the ground by the suit, they were shiny and obviously well kept for Oxford flats.

He folded the letter up and pressed it between the bed stand and his mattress as a way to hide the letter from his family. He was sure his mother would have no problem searching his room for them if he were to give any reason of doubt. He quickly got dressed and combed his hair back out his face. He looked great if you didn't look close enough. His blue eyes seemed so tired, he had some deep circles under them and a few bags as well. It seemed someone had etched a permanent frown into his face. His skin looked sullen and sickly. If only he could play that he was sick. But he couldn't disappoint his parents. So he made his way down stairs quickly, ignoring the deceased heads of decapitated house elves that lined the wall. Another disgusting and depressing feature of the house that his mother had tacked on.

The sinking feeling that hadn't left his stomach since the first dinner of holiday had only seemed to grow with each step. He stood at the base of the stairs, his eyes downcast. He could hear his mother and father speaking of how proud they'd be for Voldemort to welcome their son into their ranks. How this would make up for the disgrace that Sirius had put on their family name. And that fear of disappointing his family and disgracing their already diminishing reputation burned bright inside his mind. I have to do this.

Sutton laid in bed, her mind blank as she counted the popcorn dots on her bedroom ceiling. Regulus was terrified of this damned dinner with the dark lord and there wasn't a single fucking thing she could do about it. It bothered her endlessly. Her mind kept wandering to the what if's. To the endless possibilities that only seemed to end negatively in the bleakness of her mind.

She shook her head before getting up and popping open her trunk, her hands shaking as she ripped through it to that delicate bag full of fragile vials. The gift of drugs that Delvin gave her. She'd been good throughout most of the holiday. There were still a few days til Christmas and she'd only drank one vial of euphoria. She quick ly popped the cork lid off the newest vial she had grasped, swallowing it quickly.

She wanted the high to come, that familiar tingle running up her spine that would spread down her shoulders and arms to her fingertips and even down to her toes. She wanted to erase the dark thoughts from inside her mind and paint the sky in a golden hue of happiness that depended on her high. She wanted it to bring her so far up that she felt as if she were to float off into space and to choke on the very breath of freedom she would be granted. Only then would she get tired of that familiar buzzing inside her mind that made her giggle and dance, and when the hint of peppermint wasn't added in, to periodically burst into song. And she was lucky, she knew with this vial all the vile things inside her mind would be wiped blank and the stars would align and she'd be given this clarity on life that she'd soon forget once that rush was gone.

And as much as she anticipated that high, she knew the crash that could all too soon follow in its place. It'd be like the sun melting icarus's wings. She'd come crashing down as if  there was wax melting into her skin, as she screamed in agony and pure depression would slip into its place. Her mind would laugh with mirth as she cried and pleaded for every dark corner to disappear from sight. And she'd begin to shake and quiver, and the trembles would only get worse the longer she'd put off the potion. She was lucky enough to not have any overly noticeable symptoms, her nutty mother would probably have noticed immediately if she had.

Sutton could never tell how easy it was to see she was sick because her metamorphagus ways would wash away any possibility of insecurities. Her sullen clammy skin would disappear and be replaced with beautiful glowing skin. Her sweaty hair wouldn't last more than a few minutes before turning into golden waves or brown waved or lately waves of blue. Nothing was permanent on her skin. Her impeccably polished looks seemed to make it harder for others to seem whether or not she was under the weather. But Regulus, he always knew. He'd whisper sweet words to make her perk up, to momentarily forget the storm brewing within and ignore the bugs crawling beneath her skin. Her mom would only ever notice when those beautiful golden eyes would turn an ugly shade of green, when even her natural born ability couldn't wash away the illness within.

But at the moment, she had no Regulus with her to whisper those beautiful words to make her not want to do herself in. Instead he was off, dealing with the darkest of people that even those in the depths of hell could wish to be as evil as. He'd be forced to use his beautiful words to charm the ass off of those who didn't deserve to feel the fluttering butterflies within their insides and to see the sharpness in his sad blue eyes. She was alone with a bag full of vials with the promise of momentary happiness. For that night, that's what she had. So down went on vial. Then two. Then three. Finally she laid down on her bed, her body practically buzzing and the golden liquid took over her veins.

The elixir would take her somewhere far away, to a world where there was no war forcing her boyfriend to pledge his loyalty to a bigoted asshole who promoted incest among their kind and genocide of another. If only she'd sent one of those vials to her boyfriend to keep his spirits up as he was forced to talk to those gathering to join in an army.