Petal [h.s.]

TEN - YOU AND TEQUILA

I was not okay with Finn or with Dani.

The only thing that prompted me to accept Finn's lame ass apology was the annoying smirky smug look on Harry's face when he watched us through his shop's window. I didn't want him to think there were any problems, so I smiled and I acted like everything was fine. I was good with putting up a front when we were around other people.

The second we walked away, I made it clear that it wasn't fine at all. That it would likely never be fine again.

"We're done doing this, okay?" I opened the door to the apartment, tossing the bouquet of flowers onto the table as I did so. I should probably put them in water or something. I didn't think I'd keep them alive very long, but I think water was what you were supposed to do for plants and flowers.

Finn picked the flowers up, looking wounded by the way I easily discarded them, but I thought he knew that I didn't like flowers. There wasn't even one pink flower in the bouquet, which surprised me, as I thought he knew me better than that. The flowers were gorgeous, of course, but I... I just didn't have it in me to try and keep them alive.

"Belly, c'mon, I'm sorry about last night. I never should have left you alone like that. I was just trying to be a good friend to Dani, too. You know it's hard for me to say no..." He tried saying, but I shook my head.

"I know, but it doesn't matter. The damage is done. You know that my entire life everyone's always picked her over me. I even picked her over myself. You and Luca were the only ones to put me first and now... he's gone and you chose her when I needed you. You know how these family dinners are for me, you know that I'm the target, not her. It may have been only once but... but once was enough." I heard how shaky my voice was but I kept talking anyway, unable to stop my words. If I didn't end this now, I never would.

"I'm sorry, Arabella." Finn whispered, sitting down on the couch and rubbing his eyes, "I was so stupid. I fucked up."

"From now on, we're roommates. That's it. We're not... we're not..." My voice broke and I made myself look away. I wouldn't cry over this man anymore.

Finn stood back up immediately and rushed toward me, grabbing onto my arms to keep me still, worried I'd pull away. He didn't know that I was incapable of moving once he had his eyes on me. I loved him too much to try.

His eyes were full of tears as he looked at me, bending his knees so that he could meet my eyes when I tried to avert my gaze.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... I never... I never meant to make you feel like..." He broke off, shaking his head.

"It's fine." I said, my voice blunt and short as I used all my strength to pull away from him, "It's cool. I just need some space."

"No, no, I know you. You say you need space and then suddenly space turns into us not talking at all and then we aren't friends and... and I can't handle that, Belly, please. I need you. I need this friendship." He begged me and I stared at him, seeing how desperate and sad he felt.