Petal [h.s.]

THIRTY-SEVEN - NO OTHER SHADE

Arabella was snoring softly in my bed. She was sound asleep, one of her hands balled up next to her face, the other hand against the side of my neck, gripping it lightly.

I hardly slept. I didn't want to sleep much anyways, I was too amazed that she was in my bed next to me. But even if I could have slept, it was nearly impossible. She hogged the bed, slept practically on top of me, stole the blankets and she snored.

And yet, the next morning, I was fucking glowing.

I felt more refreshed than I ever had before. I felt like I had slept on a goddamn cloud up in heaven and it was all because she was here. In my bed. Taking up my space, which was rightfully hers anyways. Everything that was mine belonged to her now. I owned nothing and she owned me.

After day seven of pounding on her door, being ignored and begging her to talk to me, I didn't think I'd ever get her back. That's when I started to come up with a plan to get out of my relationship and away from my father. I wasn't going to lose her. I had to fight for her. I just had to do it without getting beaten to death or without failing miserably without my dad's money to fall back on, which was seeming unlikely.

Everything about change terrified me. Losing my dad, the only family I had left. Losing Jessie, who had been part of me since I was a child. Losing the security of having money and having to start from scratch somewhere far away from everything I know. But more than anything, what scared me the most, what kept me up at night and made me feel panic creep in my chest... was the thought of losing Arabella.

The thought of waking up one day without the possibility of seeing her, of kissing her, of touching her, of making her laugh and blush all over... it was the worst outcome for me. It was worse than losing my father, worse than losing Jessie, worse than losing my inheritance. I would trade all the money in the world to have Arabella hogging my blankets every night.

The day after she told me we were done, I went to her sister. I was enraged with the way she spoke to her and enraged that her words made Arabella finally snap and end things with me. I knew Dani had been leaving her alone ever since that night because I laid into her like I never thought I would.

I didn't want to freak her out, but I had to get her alone. The only time I could think to do so was after her bar shift was over, when she was on her way home. People in the Wasteland didn't worry about walking alone late at night, it was considered to be a safe area here along the boardwalk, so I knew it was my perfect chance.

I felt like an insane person, waiting in the shadows for Dani to walk out alone, but I didn't care. Maybe I was one. I felt like one, ever since Arabella looked at me and told me that I ruined her. I felt as if I were capable of doing whatever it took to get that thought out of her head, as if I could do whatever it took to get her sister to back off. So I stood there, in hiding, and I waited for her like a man who had lost his goddamn mind.