Petal [h.s.]

FORTY-FIVE - PINK DOESN'T COMPARE

I had a miserable night of sleep.

I woke every hour, thinking I was hearing Arabella's moans coming from her flat. It was silent every time I jumped out of bed and went to our shared wall, but I struggled to fall asleep after each time. My paranoia was driving me crazy.

I listened for any sexual sounds, I listened for the balcony door to slide open, I listened for signs of Max leaving the next morning. I couldn't stop myself from going to my window to watch as he made his way down the boardwalk back to where he parked for the night. He carried his overnight bag and he looked miserable but well-rested, so I knew he didn't get any.

At least I prevented that from happening.

I called Jessie to come over to talk that night. I had to get answers from her. I had to know if Max was telling the truth before I told Arabella about it. My anxiety was awful the rest of the day as I waited for her to arrive, knowing that this was going to be a pivotal moment for me. I was going to be completely honest with her and I hoped she would be with me.

She arrived that night, carrying a bottle of her favorite red wine as she waltzed into my flat. She shouted a greeting to me as she went right to the kitchen, pouring us each a glass.

"Work today was awful. I'm exhausted. I might have to crash here if I make my way through this entire bottle." She said as she carried the two glasses and the rest of the bottle of wine into the living room where I sat.

"You likely won't want to stay here after I say what I need to say, so maybe hold off on the overconsumption for now." I gulped, taking my glass from her and putting it down onto the coffee table.

"Oh god, Harry, I'm really not in the mood for more of this 'I'm not marrying you' crap. I appreciate your determination but come on, we both know how this ends." She sighed, taking a long sip of her wine as she tucked her feet under her body.

I looked at her, bracing myself for the glass of red wine that was about to be thrown at my face. Bracing myself for my entire life to change. For good.

I took a deep breath and I said it:

"I've been cheating on you, Jess."

She held her wine glass near her mouth, pausing before she took another sip. She blinked a couple of times and then her lips turned up into a slow smile. She took a long sip and started to laugh. The laugh was a little deranged sounding and I watched her carefully as she put her glass down next to mine.

"Is that what you called me over here for? Jesus, you're so dramatic." She sighed, brushing her hair out of her face, "It's really disheartening that you've known me for my entire life and you thought I was stupid enough not to know."

My heart was hammering again. My eyebrows lifted slowly as I took in her response. I had time to process her knowing about the affair thanks to Max's little confession, but I didn't expect her to be so calm about it when I told her myself.