Petal [h.s.]

SIXTY-TWO - GIVE YOU THE MOON

We went back to the bonfire, nestling into fluffy blankets on the cold sand instead of sitting in our chairs. My beautiful, wonderful friends could read the emotions running between us and excused themselves not long after we got back. They could see that we were in desperate need of some time alone to reconnect and talk about things without other distractions.

Harry's body was warm next to mine as he made me s'mores, watching me eat them with a smile on his face. His eyes were so alive, so sparkly every time we looked at one another.

Every time I looked at him, I forgot.

I forgot that he doesn't know me the way I know him. I forgot that every intimate detail that he learned about me over the last year was now gone. I forgot that he no longer knew pink was my favorite color, that I hated flowers, that I touched my earlobe when I lied, that I liked grape bubblegum, that I was terrified of the Ferris wheel. I wished I could crack his head open to see what was inside when he looked at me now. I wish those thoughts of his were displayed on a projector for me to watch in real time.

It was so easy to forget all of that when I looked into those eyes. He pulled me right in and I felt myself start to drown every time. One look shared between us and I'd get stuck there, the words 'I love you, I love you, I love you' on the tip of my tongue. I found myself leaning in to kiss him more than once, catching myself each time before he noticed that this strange girl he didn't know was trying to make out with him all night. But how could I not be drawn to him that way?

Harry was my home. I moved into his chest and had made myself cozy against his beautiful heart. I just started to renovate. I just started to decorate the walls. I just started to relax. He was my home and then he wasn't. He was my home and then all of the locks were changed. The door was bolted. I was left to sit all alone on the porch.

The porch light was still on for me, though. It was on, it was warm and yellow. It was a beacon, it was a sign, it was hope.

"S'more for your thoughts?" Harry nudged his shoulder against mine, breaking me out of my trance.

I smiled, accepting the third treat he'd made for me since we sat back down. I took a bite, considering what I should tell him as he stared at me, waiting patiently. He smiled as I chewed, reaching over to gently swipe his thumb along my bottom lip.

I held my breath as he touched me, feeling the way my heartbeat picked up. He drew his thumb back with melted chocolate on it, lifting it right up to his mouth so he could suck it off. I swallowed harshly, unable to take my eyes off of him.

The words spilled from me without considering their impact or the reaction I'd get from him. It was so easy to forget.

"I'm thinking about you. I'm always thinking about you."

He tilted his head, eyes softening, eyebrows stitching together in the center. The look was so gentle and I could see immediately that he was searching for me to give him more. I realized then that he didn't just lose the memory of me in the car accident, he also lost all memories of himself over the last few years. He doesn't know the version of himself that he's been... he doesn't know who he was with me. But I do.