Petal [h.s.]

TWENTY - A FINE LINE

*this chapter contains a few references to an attempted suicide, abuse and self harm (nothing too descriptive). It may be triggering to some.

My eyes didn't leave Finn as he watched the fireworks.

His hair was pushed back, the red in it fading out, which told me it would soon be all black again. His full lips were settled into a soft smile, his upturned nose sloping toward the sky. The sparkles reflected beautifully in his light eyes. My heart felt calm in my chest as I admired his features.

I ate my pink cotton candy, the sugary treat melting on my tongue slowly. The fireworks started as soon as he asked about the hickies on my neck. We both went silent and after a long pause, he turned to look up at the sky instead of at me. I couldn't stop looking at him, though.

The show finished, but Finn kept staring at the empty sky, like he was looking for answers. I didn't know how to approach everything I wanted to talk about, but figured I should start with our fight. Moaning Harry's name when Finn was fucking me was not a shining moment for me, but it felt so far away to me now. So much has happened since then, but I knew I still had to address it. He seemed to be over the whole thing, judging by the way he greeted me earlier.

"I guess you're done being mad at me for the... name... thing." I said softly, wincing at the memory of it, watching his eyebrows lift as he turned to look at me.

"Yeah, I'm over it." He shrugged, "Didn't mean to stay away so long, really, the Couch just got slammed and I got distracted."

"I really am sorry about that, you know." I said sincerely, feeling my cheeks heat up, "You know I'd never purposefully do anything like that."

"Apology accepted and all's forgiven." He pulled a piece of cotton candy off my cone and slid it into his mouth, grinning at me afterward, "So..."

"So..."

Things never felt awkward between Finn and I. Not when we started sleeping together, not when we stopped because of my mood swings or my relationship with Luca, not when we tried new things or got into fights over petty stuff. Awkward wasn't our thing. We always picked up right where we left off and got over things fast. But right now I could have died from it. It was a heavy cloud over our heads. Neither of us knew how to proceed.

"We should go up." I cleared my throat, searching his face, "We have a lot to talk about."

"Yeah." He nodded, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes straying to my neck again, "Seems like we do."

I felt my chest tighten up, but then a flash of annoyance ran through me. He wasn't my boyfriend. I had no obligation to him, especially not when he was out running around with my little sister when he knew how she felt about him. I had asked him to be cautious with her.