Redlyn One Shots

Insecurities

A/N: angst with comfort

WARNINGS: self-doubt, mentions of fatphobia, negative thoughts about one's self

Big Red went to Ashlyn's house, picking her up for their date. When he rang her doorbell, her only response was a short 'come in!' A bit surprised, because she was usually jumping up and down at any time spent together— despite their nearly two year relationship— but she just didn't sound enthusiastic.

"Hey." He walked inside. Ashlyn was cuddled under a blanket on the couch. He sat beside her.

"Hey."

"How are you?" He asked. Her response was a shrug. He frowned. As he opened his mouth, she interrupted.

"How are you?"

"Well, I was pretty good, but... you look really upset."

"I'm just exhausted. Came back from dance." She told him. "And I'm so sorry, I totally just crashed afterwords, I'm a wreck. I didn't get ready, my makeup is—"

"We'll stay in." He suggested. "Or you can get ready."

"I... I kinda wanna stay." She admitted.

"Okay, that sounds fun. But you're acting like a single mistake would just... ruin everything. What's wrong, baby?" He slid his arms around her waist. Instead of her usual giggle, she just leaned against his chest in defeat.

"I don't wanna talk."

"Did I upset you?" He asked. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no, I just... I don't wanna talk. With anyone." She felt herself cross her arms, trying to be smaller. And she really felt small.

"You're really freaking me out." He ran his fingers through her hair.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make it a big thing." She shook her head. "Can we just watch a movie?"

"I... I guess, yeah." He made a note to ask her a the problem later. They landed on a Disney movie. It brought comfort. For a little while.

"So many fart jokes." She observed about halfway through the cartoon.

"Yeah."

"It's kinda stupid. Like, yeah, people's bodies function." She said. Her tone was less mocking and more... aggravated. Assuming her mood was still down, he let it slide without any more 'are you okay?' questions. Awhile passed.

Big Red laughed, looking at the screen. He turned to Ashlyn who was silent. She had tears collected in her eyes. She was, unknowingly, squeezing her hands. "Honey..." his face fell immediately.

"I'm fine!" She insisted.

"Ashlyn, you have to talk to me." He maintained a soothing voice. "You know keeping secrets doesn't help anything."

"You want me to tell you how broken I am?"

"You're not— Ash, I..." tears quickly built up in his own eyes. She was quick to notice.

"No, no, please don't cry over me. I'm fine. Nothing's wrong. It's stupid, I'm stupid, I didn't—" she let her tears out. He shook his head, pulling her into a tight hug.

"Ashlyn, you know I love you."

"I know."

"You are the only person I love." He added. "It's you, Ash."

"For now." She murmured.

"Why don't you believe that I'll always love you?"

"Because I'm needy. Because I'm stupid, because I'm ugly. You might love me, but I'll become too much of a burden." She explained quickly.