Chapter 19: I miss him

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Chapter 19
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Present day...

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Madelyn...☠

I felt empty, completely broken hearted, he really left. I felt suffocated in this room and the house. His scent was long gone as Nanny Claire cleaned up the whole house putting all my stuff into the washing machine with strong detergent per my mother's orders. The only thing I begged for her to leave was the sweater I practically wore every night to be able to sleep and was currently wearing. It was his.

Three months, two weeks, five days and twelve hours still counting. Yes that's how long it has been since I last saw his pretty face. The face that I tattooed in my mind and it felt like he was always here with me. Every night I cried, screamed and fell deeper into my endless pits depression not forgetting the nightmares of that day at the hospital when I found out he was gone still haunting me.

Cameras were set at every corner of the house to be sure to keep him away and monitor my suicidal attempts. Ever since he left my attempts begun to frequent worsening as the days went by. No one wanted to approach me or tick me off. Justin's name was forbidden to be mentioned in the house but I practically screamed it everyday when the pain of not having him comfort me or give me his undivided attention hit deep piercing my soul.

I craved our naked cuddles, calls for him whiles he's in the middle of a meeting for no reason and having him immediately leave everything to rush to me only to cuddle and tell me how he will always put me first, scolding me but kissing my bruises and wounds when I hurt myself just to have him take care of me, putting my life on the line to see the look of horror at the thought of loosing me and holding onto me until I can't take it anymore. Hurting and getting rid of anyone who came close to me claiming me as his just like I would do for him. Kissing me deeply when I have someone hurt almost to the brink of death for only checking him out.

I missed our play time where we would hurt one another tasting eachothers blood and having rough mind blowing sex with the pains adding to our never ending obsession for eachother. I couldn't even remember how that chapter of satisfaction to our souls was open but I missed it. I missed them all.

I could feel my skin start to crave the pain and pleasure since only he does this to me. I missed him buried balls deep into me hitting my womb. I missed him forcing himself on me hitting, molesting and manhandling, chocking me and marking me as his. I was already dripping ready to do what gave me happiness for a while in my misery.

I knelt on the high bed that gave you a perfect view of outside through the open window lowering myself down and hoisting my naked butt in the air facing the open window as I dove my slim fingers straight to my slit. My folds were soft and slick against my impatient fingers. I knew he was watching and I knew how it drove him crazy when I touch myself.

I used my sharp nail to slice through the soft skin just above my folds as warm blood slowly slid it's way into my exposed slit and I moaned at the feel, slowly coating my fingers with the blood and burying my fingers deep into my warm cunt. Yes that's right. Only I can drive you crazy. I want you. You're mine and I still want you. Ramming into my warm slightly loose cunt due to his continues ramming into me almost every chance he got but with which he still cherishes so much grunting at how tight I am everyday when we fuck squeezing hard on my sensitive bud my eyes rolling to the back as I almost came moaning his sweet name almost every second. I knew he was watching.

I heard someone knock on my door but I didn't care. I wasn't going to let anyone steal this orgasm from him watching as my breath hitched and my moans of painful pleasure echo in the large room whiles the knocks on the door become louder. I was close. I was so close as I screamed shaking and collapsing onto the plush covers breathing hard to come down from my high licking my shaking bloodied fingers clean with a content smile in so many weeks.

I slipped on one of his boxers which I hid from Nanny Claire relaxing on my bed staring out the window. I never spoke to anyone since the hospital but the one time I almost died and Caleb had to come see me. I knew it was my Juju who sent him but he didn't answer when I asked about my Juju which sent me on a crazy lovesick fest to hurt myself to draw him to me but I got nothing which has only worsened my state of depression and my worsening obsessive craving for him.

The door swung open as my mother and Jayson barged in with Nanny Claire on their tale. If they thought I was killing myself to disturb my peace then lucky them. My mother sighed walking up to me with tears ticking her eyes. She was becoming older but was still looking young and beautiful. Even tho I was bony I knew Justin would worship my body just how he always did no matter what.

I was having breakfast with them this morning. I was home schooling for college. I can't help it but I'm just too smart for a messed up person like me. I wanted to be strong and support Justin so I never missed my lessons and I knew for sure he'll be proud of me. I got up from bed making my way downstairs to not have to see the sorry pitiful looks that just made me want to kill them and show Justin how much I hated people looking at what's his in such a manner.

I made myself comfortable at the seat Justin always took despite them discarding and changing the dinning furniture set to a much grander one with the excuse of saying the house needed a makeover.

I didn't want to understand why they wiped the house clean if anything that could belong or reminded me of Juju. I was sure it was the work of that stupid psychologist. I will soon deal with her. They treated me like a ticking time bomb. My once vibrant and clear brown eyes now were just dull and empty. My joy was gone. They drove him away for expressing his possession, mistake and faults which only heightened my sick obsession for him.

And today I decided on making it clear. I knew he was watching me and I was already gauging his reaction. We belonged to eachother and we will always find ourselves together no matter what........

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