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(All of 5SOS, but only like brief Michael)

Sep. 4, 12:07

Age: 23

Luke: "Hello, Luke Clifford speaking."

Ashton: "Hey, buddy! It's Ashton."

Luke: "Hey, Ash. What's up?"

Ashton: "Nothing, just called to tell my little princess happy birthday. Since it's like 8 or something over in America, right?"

Luke: "Yep, and, luckily for you, Princess Brooklyn just woke up."

Ashton: "Awe, great. Could me and Calum speak to her?"

Luke: "Sure thing, let me go get her. Here's Mike."

Michael: "Hey, Ashton. How are you?"

Ashton: "Good, what's up, Daddio?"

Michael: "Just chillin' in America. It's so cool here, man. Like, I want to stay here forever."

Calum: "If you do, I'll be forced to kick your ass and steal baby Brook from you."

Michael: "Awe, I love you too Calum!"

Calum: "I love you too, Mikey! That's why you have to come back."

Michael: "'Cause you miss me?"

Calum: "No, 'cause I miss Brooklyn. Duh."

Michael: "First Luke, now you. Brooklyn keeps stealing all my men!"

Ashton: "To be fair, Ashton was never your man."

Calum: "Don't listen to him, honey! I'll always be your man."

Michael: "Do you promise me, Cal? Forever?"

Calum: "Until you broke. Then I gotta leave because I ain't hanging with no broke boy."

Michael: "You gold digger."

Calum: "Alas, that is who I am."

Michael: "Fuck off, mate."

Luke: "Michael!"

Michael: "I meant freak! Sorry, guys, have to go. See you later. Bye bye, my sweetness."

Calum: "Good bye, sugar plum."

Ashton: "Bye, Mike. See ya."

Luke: "Honestly, how they allowed him to raise a child I'll have no idea."

Ashton and Calum: "Because you're with him."

Luke; "And he better thank God for that. Isn't that right, Brooklyn? Yes, Dada better thank God for Daddy, huh? Yes he should."

Calum: "Your baby talk makes me want to vomit."

Luke: "I could say the same about your face."

Ashton: "Oh my gosh. You guys!"

Calum: "Brooklyn, do you see how cruel your father is? Just come be my baby instead."

Luke: "No way! It took forever to get this one and lord knows we won't get this good of a baby again. Get your own baby."

Ashton: "Maybe one day."

Calum: "Definitely one day."

Luke: "Awe, you sweeties."

Ashton: "I know. We've become real sweet hearts. This morning he locked me in the bathroom for thirty minutes."

Luke: "That's actually pretty funny."

Calum: "It was hilarious."

Ashton: "I'm so glad it's funny to torture me."

Calum: "I do it with love."

Ashton: "Yeah, sure."

Calum: "Anyways, let's wish the birthday girl a special day! Happy birthday, sweetheart! We love you."

Ashton: "Happy birthday, sweet little Brooklyn. We hope to see you soon!"

Luke: "She said, 'bah bah blag coo,' which is baby for 'thanks uncle Ashton and Cal'."

Calum: "Says who?"

Luke: "Me."

Calum: "Fair enough."

Ashton: "Alright, I know we called to say happy birthday, but there's another reason as well. We have a surprise."

Luke: "Well, go on then. Spit it out."

Calum and Ashton: "We're getting married."

Luke: "HOLY SHIT! MICHAEL!"

***

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