Unexpected connection [a Damian Priest story]

6 Clarity

Damian POV

I tried to say something, but I just couldn't. Instead, I simply nodded and then left the room. I knew deep down that I shouldn't be leaving right now. And I felt like a piece of shit, but my brain was so flooded with new information and feelings that I didn't know how to deal with it at that moment.

With quick steps I went into the next restroom. A look in the mirror showed me that I looked the way I felt. My hand was shaking when I turned on the water. For a moment I let the cold water flow over my hands. It was oddly soothing to watch the water trickle off my skin and disappear down the drain.

Then I splashed some of the cold water on my face. I had the hope that it would make me a bit clearer in the head. And thankfully it worked to some extent.

Y/N was right when she said that we were now connected. And yes, it was totally unexpected. But that didn't change the fact that she was pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Again and again this word echoed through my head. I was going to be a father. How the hell was I going to be a father to anyone?

Okay, now let's take it one step at a time. Y/N was a great woman and I liked her. Very much so, and I had ever since I first talked to her. She had a great personality and we definitely had the same sense of humor. So it was definitely good that we got along. And the attraction was definitely there too. My God, a lot of it actually.

I was aware that it could always happen that a condom breaks. And now there were consequences. But that did not mean that it had to be something bad. A baby was not a bad thing and babies certainly didn't ask if it was convenient for their parents or if it fit into their life plan. It just happened. Maybe it was meant to happen like this.

Y/N said she didn't expect anything from me. She said I should just live my life. But how could I do that knowing I had a child on the way? At that moment I realized that I wanted to be involved in his or her life. A child, if it was possible, should have both in his or her life. A mother and a father. No matter how much that scared me at the moment.

I was as much a part of this as Y/N and I would take responsibility. We had made a baby. And that baby was going to have everything it needed. It needed a decent father.

With everything I had in me, I prayed that I was up to the task. I couldn't mess this up. It was probably the most important thing that would ever happen to me in my life. And I would face it. Chickening out was not an option. 

I gripped the edge of the sink and looked in the mirror again. Now it was determination I saw in my eyes. Y/N would not have to raise our child alone. This baby was a part of me. My family, my blood, and I couldn't abandon that.