Just This Once || Erenxreaderxjean

34

Disclaimer: This chapter contains minor references to suicide.

2 years ago...

Mikasa tried not to make herself look at the boy as she walked. Every step she took, every inch she got closer, her grey eyes grew more uneasy, darting to look at anything but him.

Eren was up ahead, leaned back on a park bench. It didn't matter to him that the air carried a chill, and that the sun had long ago set. He had his legs kicked up on the bench, earbuds in his ears without a care in the world. He was looking up.

At the stars.

There were so many of them tonight, it was peculiar. As if the galaxy had finally decided to paint the empty canvas we call the sky.

Eren was like this sometimes. He got distracted gazing at the stars, or sometimes, he would just have this look on his face, like he wanted to explore everything past the horizon.

It made everything that much harder as Mikasa approached the bench.

Sometimes, he looked at her that way.

Like she was his dazzling star. The only one he wanted in a galaxy with trillions to choose from.

It pained her when he looked at her with those green eyes so full of love. Because she didn't fall in love with a pair of green eyes, but rather brown ones. And she knew that would hurt him more than anything.

Eren heard her footsteps approach the bench over his music. With a smile, he kicked his feet down and made room for her.

"Hey stranger."

Mikasa bit the inside of her cheek. She hadn't said a word yet, and she already felt like crying.

He was doing it again. Looking at her with those eyes.. with that smile..

"What? You tell me to meet you at the park and then you won't even sit with me?", Eren joked. The boy let out an exasperated huff and crossed his arms. "Fine, I'll just go talk to my other girlfriends." His smile gave him away as he reached out to pull Mikasa down to sit with him.

Mikasa let him, falling into place next to him. It should have felt familiar. It should have felt warm. How many times had he held her? Wrapped an arm around her? Too many to count. But all Eren's body next to her's felt like was a betrayal to the person she truley wanted.

"What, no comment?", he asked with a laugh.

"Eren, we have to talk."

"I was just kidding. I don't have any other girlfriends. Well, I guess I did have that lady at the mall offer to be my sugar mommy, but I don't really think that counts-"

"Eren-"

"Kidding! Come on, look at the stars tonight. Isn't it crazy? I've never seen this many before."

Eren reached over and laced just a few of his fingers with Mikasa's. Just a subtle contact, nothing overbearing. Just the way he liked it.

Mikasa looked down at their hands while Eren looked up at the stars. Her breath caught in her throat, because although she had known it would be hard, she hadn't realized it would hurt this much.

Eren pointed to a particularly bright dot in the night sky. "Look. I think thats Venus. And that one-"

"We can't be together", she managed to whisper.

Eren's hand, which had been pointing at the stars, froze.

"Huh?" He wasn't sure he'd heard her right.