The Ugly Girl

Chapter-31

Lauren's POV

A moment goes by without a word among three of us.

Then Nora sighs and says, "You know what? Who am I to say anything to anyone really? I don't even have MY shit together. Let alone advice others how to handle their shit. And also, I am nowhere near qualified to be saying this shit." She smiles weakly. "I don't know what came over me but forget that I said anything okay? I'm sorry. It's your life and you definitely know better about it than I do. I'll see you in class." And she gets up and leaves.

Lacy touches my hand and says, "Hey, don't take her words badly. You know her. You know she means good. She just doesn't have the clearest idea how to phrase her concern. She didn't mean to make you upset." I nod.

And then the bell rings announcing that lunch was over.

**

Nora and I didn't really talk for the rest of the day except the occasional questions asked and answered in the driest way possible and the goodbye at the end of school.

And now I am walking alone to my home.

And thinking. Thinking a lot.

Blake didn't come to school today. I heard one of his "homies" talking about him and apparently nobody knows why.

Thank god. I don't think I would have been able to face Blake today after what Nora said to me.

Speaking of which- could she be right? Do I do it for the thrill of it all? I mean, I always loved doing new things but it's a good thing right? Aren't you supposed to want to do new things?

Thousands of thoughts run through my mind during my entire walk. I think about everything Blake's done to me. I remember all the mental torture and honestly some very physical discomforts he caused and why do I even put up with that bullshit.

My mind keeps racing to figure out "why" of everything.

I am still thinking when I reach home and go up to my room, only to lay down with my clothes still on.

And then it hits me.

Even though Blake was a horrible person and he did horrible things to people, in some sick twisted way - he reminded me of Kiara.

Kiara, who always made me test my limits, who knew how to break my shell and make me my best self. Kiara was nowhere as bad as Blake. For starters, she wasn't a bully. She protected me from bullies.

Or maybe you're just on the different side of the story now, L.

No. What the hell am I even thinking? Kiara never hurt anyone intentionally.

Maybe not physically, L.

My mind flashes back to the times when Kiara would make a snarky comment about some girls lipstick shade or make certain boys whom she didn't like feel less about themselves.

Yeah, but she did all that because she had a terrible home life. I knew that. I witnessed it. She never went too far.

But she was a bully in her own way.

Stop it.

I sit up on bed and shake my head. I hold my head in my hands. I'm not going to think ill about my best friend who is dead just because of some stupid dude. Maybe Nora is right. Maybe I do like the highs. But it has nothing to do with Kiara or what she did.

I'm not going to let overthinking ruin the best memories of my life, my memories with my best friend. It ruined already a lot of things for me in life, not anymore.

And then before I know it, I'm lying in bed, using a pillow to stifle my cries.

**

Hello, lovelies. Told you, you were going to have to deal with me consistently now. Thank you so much for all the kind words and support. I love it when you guys give me feedback. It may not always seem like it but I read every single one of your comments, even when I'm not around and honestly, I feel like crying every time. You guys are all so kind. Thank you so much again. Hope you all enjoy the new uploads and the upcoming ones. Much love. <3